One of the worst things that any husband or wife can do is to compare their spouse to another man or woman. The truth is that the moment you start comparing your spouse to another person, that is the moment trouble begins. Comparison has the power to consume you if you let it; it shows in your attitude and behaviour (mostly negative) towards your spouse; it keeps you in discontentment. While there is nothing wrong with desiring that your spouse exhibits positive traits you may see in someone else, there is everything wrong with nagging him or her, and dwelling on their weaknesses. Your spouse is yours and it is important to focus on their strengths and HELP them in their weak areas. Making them feel inadequate will only lower their self-esteem and frustrate them; and it would eventually affect your relationship. Instead, magnify their strengths, affirm them, encourage them, use The Word of God to frame them and then practically do something to help them become better. Use the instrument of wisdom to achieve this, and give them time to get there. The making of your husband/wife is in your own hands therefore see it as your responsibility to make them what you want them to be. By comparing them to another person, you have simply said he/she is not good enough and you can do better. In actual fact, whoever you may be comparing them to has their own weaknesses also. You just don’t have the privilege of seeing them up, close and personal. IT MAY EVEN BE WORSE THAN YOU THINK! Beware of comparison; it is the game of fools; don’t give the enemy the power to trap you in discontentment. No wonder the bible tells us that anyone who compares, exhibits foolishness (II Corinthians 10:12). Learn to accept and celebrate the uniqueness of your spouse and discipline yourself to see their strengths and focus them. Remember that whatever you focus on is what will magnify. Ask God for the grace to be content with your own spouse and do what you can to help them become better. God will help you in Jesus name. Amen.

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