There was a married woman who was bent the entire time on justifying why she wanted to leave her husband. And she kept emphasising the fact that she did not need any counselling not to leave him. She went on and on about the fact that her husband was the one who needed major help, “he is the one with the problem, he is the one who is doing everything wrong in the marriage, and in fact he needs to be born again, again” she said. It was a funny but not so funny situation. Believe it or not, she said she had done everything right and she had no faults; she was simply perfect. I know that sounds familiar to you. She was asked, “ma’am do you really think you have done nothing wrong?” And her response was “well, I don’t mean it that way, I mean he has done most of the damage”. The only way she would stay with him, according to her was if he changed for the better. Do you know that is exactly what many married couples who are experiencing challenges say? Many husbands and wives want to change their situation, change their spouses, change their environment yet they refuse to change themselves. They want to see change but they believe that it is their spouse that must do the work to generate the change. That is not the right attitude to have; God will not step in to change a situation if YOU and I are not willing to take responsibility to do our own part. No matter how terrible you believe your spouse may be, it still takes the actions of both people in the marriage to experience a breakdown. Stop waiting for your spouse to change and you get going. Stop wasting time complaining about him/her to everybody who wants to hear about your marital woes. You just take positive actions, and they will follow suit. To the glory of God, the woman and her husband are still going strong in their marriage with God’s help. As soon as she changed her mind-set and her actions, he didn’t have a choice but to do the same. The Bible tells us in 1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives”; the same goes for the husbands. Remember that if you want to see a change in your family life, it begins with you. The best thing to do is receive grace continuously to do your own part and God, who is not blind, will reward you.

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