This is a long read but I think it would be a blessing to you.
On one of my wedding anniversaries, my husband and I spent most of the day at a beautiful wedding. The bride and groom were beaming and just looked so in love and excited; I was so happy for them. I mean, the joy was radiating on their faces and the bride was absolutely gorgeous – in fact she reminded me of myself when I got married lol! Anyway, it was actually a good way to spend the day because while there, some of the things that took place took us back to our own wedding day. Each time we saw something that reminded us of our big day, we would lean into each other and say it and at different points in time, we laughed out loud. It was really a good day. Thank God that we look back on that day with so much joy and laughter; and thank God much more that the joy and laughter did not end there but has multiplied in our lives.
I want to share a few things from my heart to you that have helped us and I believe would do the same for you.
I must say that marriage has actually been fantastic. I remember when we were about to get married; while we got positive advice, there were some who told us to expect a tumultuous and rocky road ahead, but I thank God that we had the same mental picture of a peaceful marriage right from the day our relationship began. In fact when many realised I was getting married to a pastor, their responses were “sorry”, “Aww”, “I can never marry a pastor” to sympathise with me. They told me that being married to a pastor was going to be very difficult. I thank God that we didn’t allow the opinions and unsolicited advice from anybody taint our own expectations of a crisis-free marriage. I thank God for giving me the grace to be his wife, and I thank Him for the grace He has given to us to be there for each other. I have to say that the road actually has been easy; simply because God has been our rock and our guide. A few things we constantly do that I believe would help you:
1. We remind ourselves that a house divided against itself cannot stand (Mark 3:25).
2. We remind each other that where strife, envy, bitterness and the like come in, every evil work has come in (James 3:16) so we give them no place.
3. We remind each that it is only where unity is that God commands the blessings (Psalm 133:3), and it is only where there is unity that there will be progress.
4. We remind ourselves that no matter the challenges that arise, we remain a house united, and when we have that mind-set and stick together, we can achieve our common goals or desires (Genesis 11:6).
5. We see each other as our advantage in life. I do my best to help him in his assignment and he also has brought out the best in me, challenging me and helping me develop my potentials (Ecclesiastes 4:9), and thank God this is just the beginning.
My own little advice to you is this: no matter how long you may have been married, keep giving your marriage the best of you, and you will only get the best out of it. Renew your mind and base everything you do on The Word of God. See everything you do towards your spouse as unto The Lord (Colossians 3:23); and don’t buy into the negative experiences of others.
When we, the guests were asked to stretch our hands out and pray for the couple; we were told to wish them whatever we would wish ourselves. I simply said
“Father, let today be the day that they experience the least amount of joy and excitement in their marriage. Because, the path of the just is as a shining light that should not be getting dimmer and dimmer but brighter and brighter; therefore, the joy, the excitement, the hope – let it only increase. Cause them to experience only better days ahead. Give each one grace to play their own part in building this marriage and may your grace colour their efforts. Let there be no cause for sorrows, no cause for regrets, and any tears they shed going forward must be tears of joy in Jesus name”.
While that prayer was for them, I received it for my own marriage and family on this special day. I also excitedly look forward to better days ahead!
Receive grace to do your part; God is no respecter of persons. Pastor or not, as long as you do what is required of you, He will step in and give you an enviable testimony.
I pray for you today that your own restful and peaceful marriage and family life that God has in store for you, will not elude you, and it would only get better all the days of your life in Jesus name.
And if you are single now, when you do get married, it’s my prayer that your marriage will only enhance and elevate you; not deplete or downgrade you.
Here’s to better days ahead in our marriages and family life!