A stony heart: A dangerous condition…


A hard heart can damage any relationship. Please be tenderhearted towards your spouse or potential. Have a soft spot for him/her. Yes, they are not perfect and they may not have it all together but it is very wrong to justify that with a hostile or hurtful attitude towards them. Where they have weaknesses or areas they need to work on (you have them too), see how you can be of help to them to make them better or stronger. In marriage, that is part of why you are there; to enhance your spouse.

Tenderness is all about expressing warm and affectionate feelings to another person. When your children fall; whether literally or figuratively, you are tender. When you see those in touching situations, you express tenderness; in the same way, do so towards your spouse. We are told in Ephesians 4:32, to ,”Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”. And Jesus said that the reason Moses condoned divorce was due to hardness of heart (Matthew 19:8).

That means when your heart becomes hard towards each other, there is no going back, except you allow God to soften your heart. A hard heart is like a heart of stone, it makes you cold towards each other, it can stop love from flowing out of you to another person. It Is a very dangerous condition to have. Maintain a tender heart always; a hard heart can poison any relationship and cause it to disintegrate. May the Lord replace every hard heart with a heart of flesh (Exodus 36:26) in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Value adding woman…


I absolutely love seeing women succeed and bring their dreams to life. I love seeing women break barriers in different industries. It makes the difference for me when these women have the God factor! I get excited when I see women doing so many different things in their various fields, while giving credit to the One who placed the gifts and talents in them in the first place; never forgetting the One who has enabled them to do it all and ooze excellence in all they do. To me, that’s a ‪‎valueaddigwoman‬! One who is bent on adding value to the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs of those they come across, from their families to strangers!

It drives me to be a better version of myself. It also shows me that in me, lies more than a mother or a wife; in me lies someone who can make a difference and impact my world in my own little way. Whether you are a teacher, a minister, a baker, a pharmacist, whatever; I believe more of us women should be that way. Work on becoming the best in everything you do – from your marriage, to motherhood, to the works of your hands. Don’t settle for the status quo but be determined to step outside of the box, do things differently, come out of our comfort zone and become the standard in everything that you do.

We can’t add ‪value‬ unless we have value so we must continue upgrading our value by acquiring the skills, knowledge, etc that few people have. Ask the Holy Spirit to show what to do and which way to go. Don’t despise the beginning of your journey and don’t get distracted by what others are doing. Focus! Focus! ‪‎Focus‬! When we stay committed to whatever ‪God‬ has placed in our hands, we get to the point that people may not like our rising, they may not think we qualify, but they can’t deny our impact. Don’t wait! ‪‎Time‬ waits for no man! Today is the day to start becoming a ‪valueaddingwoman‬.

Praying Wife…

This is for the wifey’s😊out there. I gladly recommend this mini book. Single ladies can also use it to prepare but for the wifey’s specifically, they are more like prayer cards to use daily for our hubbies😊 I can’t get over it and I use it without fail.

👍Remember the bible says we should pray for those in authority (1 Timothy 2:2); well our husbands are the leaders of the home so they need all the prayer they can get, right😀? I’m sure there are others good books out there but this is a great one. I am all for adding value as a woman and one of the greatest ways we can do so is through heartfelt prayer! So, if possible, get it and be on the lookout for the Crisis-Proof Your Family one I’m working on by the help of the Holy Spirit😉 You’ll ❤️ it😌 ‪


Do it wisely…


One thing I have learnt is that who you join yourself to in life affects the direction of your life. The person you end up marrying can either enhance or derail you in life. In fact, I once  heard someone say ‘your spouse will either make you or break you’ and I have found that to be true. It’s unfortunate that most people are careless about who they get married to. For most, it’s just about finding someone and settling down.

Don’t be causal about marriage; your aim should not be just to get married; your life, your destiny also matters. God didn’t put you on this earth just so you can get married. If marriage was the main thing, then Jesus Himself will have preached it as a matter of urgency but He didn’t. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to get married but please keep reminding yourself that while it is good and while it should be desired, it is not the only thing that matters in this life. So if you are going to enter into it, it should be entered into with wisdom.

There are people who get married and end up missing their place in destiny simply because of who they chose to become one flesh with; simply because they were casual about it. And they are full of regrets & frustrations. Among other things, your God-given assignment also matters and who you join yourself to can either set you back from achieving your vision, or help maximise your potentials above your expectations. A Pastor friend of mine told me of her experience counselling a married man who was frustrated with his wife, and all he kept saying was “that woman set me back in life, I shouldn’t have overlooked some important things”. Imagine that! He was talking about his wife!

When I am privileged to counsel couples who are full of regret, I always thank God for the positive change of story that He will make happen for them.  However, if  you are not yet married, you still have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes and right decisions of others. I never hear single ladies or gentlemen specifically looking out for a spouse that will add value to them; a spouse that will bring out the best in them; a spouse that will even align themselves with, and support their vision. A spouse with a good work ethic, one who is diligent, etc. All those things actually matter. Make sure your visions align, and make sure you also fully support your potential spouses vision, plans, etc.

I always like to say that if you feel you must have a list outlining the kind of spouse you want, don’t be carnal about it; be careful what you ask for. Focus on someone who genuinely fears God and will enhance your vision & bring out the best in you. Such a person who has a fear of God will focus on becoming a better person and will put the Word of God to work. However someone who just looks good and is even financially stable but has little or no regard for God’s Word, will only bring out the worst in you. Such a person could be a Christian but it won’t be reflecting in them.

Above all, don’t make marriage a do or die affair; don’t get married at all cost. Your peace of mind & your assignment in life should not be the price you are willing to pay, just so you can call yourself married. Marriage is great but it is not what proves that you are a valuable man or woman. So if you decided that you do want to get married someday, do it wisely!