A hard heart can damage any relationship. Please be tenderhearted towards your spouse or potential. Have a soft spot for him/her. Yes, they are not perfect and they may not have it all together but it is very wrong to justify that with a hostile or hurtful attitude towards them. Where they have weaknesses or areas they need to work on (you have them too), see how you can be of help to them to make them better or stronger. In marriage, that is part of why you are there; to enhance your spouse.
Tenderness is all about expressing warm and affectionate feelings to another person. When your children fall; whether literally or figuratively, you are tender. When you see those in touching situations, you express tenderness; in the same way, do so towards your spouse. We are told in Ephesians 4:32, to ,”Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”. And Jesus said that the reason Moses condoned divorce was due to hardness of heart (Matthew 19:8).
That means when your heart becomes hard towards each other, there is no going back, except you allow God to soften your heart. A hard heart is like a heart of stone, it makes you cold towards each other, it can stop love from flowing out of you to another person. It Is a very dangerous condition to have. Maintain a tender heart always; a hard heart can poison any relationship and cause it to disintegrate. May the Lord replace every hard heart with a heart of flesh (Exodus 36:26) in Jesus’ name. Amen!