Speak prophetically to/about your children…

What you say to and about your child(ren) is prophetic! It leaves a mark (good or bad); it sticks to them like glue! Children live up to the belief that their parents have in them. What are you saying to/about them? If you may have been belittled by your own parents or adults around you while growing up; if they were careless with the words they used to mould you, be determined not to carry on with that trend. Break the cycle! Once you know better, do better! Don’t join others in misspeaking about their children.

Sometime ago, I met someone who had the most terrible things to say about their child. The child was a teenager who wasn’t even doing anything wrong but this parent was already speaking into the future of their child so carelessly that I had to caution them; I couldn’t stand it. If those words come to pass, they’ll start wailing, and even begin to blame God for allowing it to happen. When in actual fact, they are the ones who called it to pass by their words. Regardless of their age, be deliberate about what you say!

Don’t just speak casually; speak positively and prophetically into the life of your child(ren) at every opportunity. It doesn’t matter if what you see in actual fact is the opposite, keep speaking! In time, your child(ren) will align! If you’ve been on that path of speaking without thinking of the consequences your words can provoke, it’s time to get on the right track! Don’t be deceived. Those seemingly unimportant words you speak can cause the greatest damage. Be wise! – Kemi Oyedepo@theoyedepojnrs#thegoddependentparent #marriage #light #wisdom#ontheroadtoido #crisisproofyourfamily

Create what you want…

You create the type of relationship and ultimately marriage, you want. If you want your home to be filled with fun, and laughter, you create it. If you want it to be filled with peace and unity, you create it. If you want a home where kindess and forgiveness are 100% normal, It’s up to us! Everything we need to create the home we desire from scratch has been given to us by God Himself.

He’s not going to do it for us. He’ll give us all the help we need but it’s ultimately up to us to make our homes what we want it to be. Too many of us just hope for it, wish for it, dream about it. But that’s not enough. It takes us doing something to get something! It takes us changing negative habits, considering each other’s feelings and opinions, deliberately honouring and respecting each other, learning from each other, among other things, if we want our hopes and dreams to become a reality.

It’s not about looking for perfection but allowing room for growth! How hard are you willing to work for the kind of relationship you desire? That’ll determine exactly what you get! – Kemi Oyedepo@theoyedepojnrs #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily #ontheroadtoido

Be a cheerful giver…

Don’t grumble or make a fuss about what you do for your spouse. That’s marriage. We’re meant to help each other. Assist each other. Encourage each other and serve each other. Marriage is for givers! But it doesn’t mean much if we don’t do it with a good attitude. Do it with pleasure. As long as you’re in a marriage, that’s what’s required of each person. Too many husbands and wives complain about everything they do in their home. Investing into your spouse or family, financially, emotionally and otherwise is your responsibility.

And it’s not just expected of one person in the marriage; both people have a part to play if the marriage will work. Play your own part well! Of course, your spouse should be appreciative of what you do; no relationship can flourish without appreciation or acknowledgment. And no one likes feeling taken for granted. However, don’t make it seem like a burden or an unwanted chore when you indeed do something.

Don’t make it seem like a favour where you feel you are “owed” for whatever task you did. You can never get the best out of your marriage that way. And if you’re not careful, it can cause you to become bitter and resentful towards your spouse. If and when that happens, things can spiral out of control. Enjoy the process of being a helper in every sense of the word, in your marriage and be cheerful about it. God loves a cheerful giver; so does your spouse! Please note that if you feel like you’ve done all you know to do and your’e not yet seeing the results you desire, prayerfully seek godly counsel so you can get back on track. – Kemi Oyedepo #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily #giveyourbest

The weight of your words…

No matter what, always speak words that heal and strengthen your loved ones. It’s far too easy to be critical and condescending but as a Christian, never allow that to be your way of life . Your words carry destructive and constructive power. If as a husband (or wife), you speak to and about your spouse carelessly, you can’t blame your children for speaking to each other in such a manner. Perhapsyou came from a home where that was the norm, you must be determined to turn things around.

Be determined to break the cycle! Don’t keep blaming it on your upbringing or experiences in life. Instead work on making a change by being responsible with your choice of words. Refrain from using ungodly or corrupt words. A lot of people don’t realise that words spoken also have the power to set the tone in a relationship or home.

Even in your jokes, ensure your words carry life. No one enjoys being degraded or belittled, especially by the person who should be in their corner. It has damaging consequences. Be wise! – Kemi Oyedepo#marriage #light #wisdom #crisisproofyourfamily#yourwordscarrypower

Liability or Asset?

As you wait to get married, deliberately prepare yourself to be an asset in the life of your spouse. An asset is a useful or valuable thing or person. Be determined to be just that! Don’t just keep hoping and praying for an amazing spouse. Plan on being one too. Plan on being useful in the life of your future spouse. It’s human nature to think about what others can do for us so its no surprise that for most people, even marriage is about what they can get out of it.

Change your approach; what can you add to another individual and relationship? Don’t just hope and pray for someone, consider how you can be useful to their own life and destiny as well. A spouse who is an asset is invaluable; like a rare treasure. Their presence cannot be ignored. Even their spouse takes great pride in them and wants to show them off. Don’t allow yourself to be a liability. One definition is a person or thing whose presence is embarrassing or puts others at a disadvantage.

Nobody likes a liability! A liability is like a burden or a weight. Such a person often lacks wisdom and the ability to manage themselves appropriately. Discipline yourself to be responsible, prudent, goal oriented, self controlled, etc. Add value to yourself so you can add value to your relationship and marriage when the time comes.

There’s no better time to start than now! And as you do, enjoy the process; after all it’s for the good of your future home! This is a critical but often overlooked factor when preparing for marriage. As you desire to get married, ensure you’re able to answer this question sincerely – am I a liability or an asset? You know! Kemi Oyedepo #ontheroadtoido#marriage #light #wisdom #crisisproofyourfamily

Be observant…

As a lady who is looking forward to marriage, ensure the gentleman you are dating is someone whose judgement you trust and whose leadership ability, you are confident in. Don’t overlook this! There will be (many) situations when he would have to take the lead in the decision making for your family and you’d have to be able to give him room to do so. Watch him; how does he manage his own life? How does he relate with those around him?

Be observant! You can tell the traits of a good leader by observation. If you’re not sure of his ability to lead you and your family on the right path, particularly as the Holy Spirit leads, wisdom demands that you don’t get married yet. Many wives are unsure of the decisions their husbands make so they begin to disregard their husbands authority and do as they please. This not to undermine your role as a wife; we as wives are equally important and a wise and confident husband will lead with meekness (as Christ) and also respect the opinions and input of his wife. But he cannot delegate his God given responsibility to his wife.

There is nothing worse than when a leader lacks the trust and respect of their followers. There’ll be chaos and confusion. Of course as a wife, you’ll have to keep praying for him to take steps as led by God but if you question his decisions now; if you don’t respect him now; if he is irresponsible now; if he cannot discipline himself and package himself with confidence now, if he lacks the traits of a good leader (honesty, confidence, vision, respect/consideration for others, effective communicator, etc), think twice! – Kemi Oyedepo#ontheroadtoido #marriage #light #wisdom

Your responsibility as a husband…

A wife who feels loved, valued and respected by her husband will ALWAYS give her best to her marriage and her family and even to those around her. As a husband, do your best to make your wife feel secure and irreplaceable. Nothing is worse than when the head of the home, the one who is to protect and defend, becomes the one who devalues and belittles. Your responsibility is to bring out the best, not the worst in her.

It’s true that some wives don’t know better and may even perhaps provoke their husbands. However, that’s where prayer and patience are required. Be prayerful when things are not as they ought to be. Take responsibility for the state of your home. Being the leader of any institution including the family is not mere talk. It means you are actually responsible for what happens under your watch!

Any leader knows that the making or breaking of their organisation rests on them. Therefore shall a man deliberately leave his father and mother and glue himself to his wife. That is taking responsibility! That’s why marriage is not for boys, your age notwithstanding. Lead with a sense of responsibility for her, not a sense of lordship over her! As you wait for positive changes in her, wear patience like a cloth. Don’t throw in the towel. When you feel a sense of responsibility for something, you see it as your duty, as an obligation! You do everything within you to ensure it turns out well. You patiently wait. Have that same mind towards your home. Get godly counsel if necessary.

As long as it depends on you, put the grace of God to work and give your best. No matter how terrible things are, God has everything it takes to make it anew. Study the leadership style of Jesus and consciously imitate it. If your are really walking in His footsteps, it must work! How you manage yourself will motivate her to be at her best. When that’s the case, her light will so shine, you will benefit from it, your children will benefit from it & people will take notice! If you’re still a single gentleman, make sure you’re taking notes! – Kemi Oyedepo #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily

Motherhood!

Motherhood is one of those journeys you never really appreciate until you step into the role. The sacrifices and everything in between takes on a whole new meaning when you actually become a mother. It’s a rigourous but rewarding journey and requires all the grace to do the best job you possibly can. It calls for sowing seeds day and night and watering those seeds, believing God that the harvest will be bountiful. It is hoping that like the Proverbs 31 woman, you indeed laugh at the future watching your own children grow up and live a life worthy of the gospel of Christ!

My mother means the world to me. Her input into my life has shaped me into the woman, wife and mother that I am today. People may not value the time and energy a mother invests in her children but I don’t need anyone to validate the most important assignment God has given to me. It is a high and holy calling. Don’t downplay how significant you are! You are invaluable. You can’t pass value to your children if you don’t see yourself as invaluable in God’s sight. Be the affirmation your children need. Be the teacher. Be the one who encourages their faith! Every day, deliberately spend some quality time with them, investing particularly into their spiritual lives. The more I just hang out with my children, the more beautiful they are to me!

Ah… motherhood! It’s a sweet journey; nothing else comes close to it. If you feel your husband or their father is not living up to his role, don’t let that stop you from giving your best to your children; they will rise up and bless you for it! You may feel as if your input is not yet showing, don’t let that deter you. The fruits of your labour will not elude you. Keep praying for your children and in no time, you’ll see them align. You may have come from a home without a mother or perhaps your mother didn’t know better.

Learn from that and be determined to do better for your children. If you genuinely don’t know what to do, seek the counsel you need! I’m praying for anyone who desires this beautiful role of motherhood, may the Lord grant your desires in Jesus name, amen! May the #ligHT and#wisdom we need remain available to us! – Kemi Oyedepo#motherhood #crisisproofyourfamily