Nobody likes a quarrelsome or troublesome person. In fact, nobody desires to live with such a person. The definition of such a person is one who causes difficulty or annoyance. I call such people men and women of war. They are never at peace when there is peace. They create something out of nothing, they find faults. They are never satisfied unless there is a fight!
Don’t take pride in being such a person. If some things must be discussed in your relationship or family, you don’t have to end up in a war zone. You see, the Scriptures call such people fools (Pro. 20:3). Whether you’re married or single, ask yourself, ‘am I such a person’? If you are, make some changes. That’s not a good trait to have so don’t be proud of being a troublemaker! Don’t be proud of being a concern in your home and to those around you. In fact, it should bother you if that’s how you are, as a Christian.
Humble yourself and ask God to help you prune such traits away. It’s so serious that the Scriptures tell us it’s better to live on the corner of the rooftop, risking your life, than to live with a contentious wife (Proverbs 25:24). It also says it’s better to live far away in the desert than with a nagging wife. I believe it goes both ways because some husbands have such traits. Be a man or woman of peace! The God kind of peace. If you’re a person of war, you can’t be spiritual, it’s impossible. The evidence will show in your output. Your spouse or those around you may be troublesome but that’s never an excuse to join them. Instead, handle issues with wisdom and let the life of Christ flow or if you.
Remember, we should do our very best to be at peace with all men (Romans 12:18, Hebrews 12:14) most especially at home! Single ladies and gentlemen, hear ye the word of the Lord😃: as you pray and watch for whatever you desire in a spouse, at the top of your list should be a person of peace. Don’t be sentimental; this is non-negotiable if you want to enjoy your marriage! – Kemi Oyedepo#marriage #light #wisdom #crisisproofyourfamily
— with Infinitjohn Orimisan.
Proverbs 22:3; Proverbs 27:12
Be sensitive enough to know when a relationship needs to end. There are many individuals in relationships that should end with speed! Many see the signs and know good and well that they and their potential spouse are just not compatible (able to coexist in peace and harmony) but they hold on to that relationship by a string, doing everything they can to make it work. You’ll be doing yourself more harm than good if that is your approach. It doesn’t matter how long that relationship has been, if you are not married, you are not married. 🙌🏾
Courtship and marriage can never and will never be the same thing. Yes, relationships require work and you sometimes have to resolve conflict to get to a place of peace but if you both keep putting in energy and you see clearly that it’s not working; you’re not of one mind, you don’t agree, you don’t share the same values, your spiritual life is going down the drain, that should tell you something. Even without anyone advising you, take the time to evaluate or assess that relationship; if you’re investing so much and you’re seeing zero results, it’s time to wake up! Don’t deceive yourself. Your life and peace of mind are more important than getting married.
At some point, you have to be real with yourself, break it off, learn from any mistakes and keep it moving. At first, it may feel like you’ll never be able to get over it but believe me you will. Jumping into another relationship is not the answer either. As long as you allow God to become your all in all and mend your broken heart, you will come out better. Marriage is absolutely good but you can still have an amazing and enjoyable time as a single lady or gentleman, chasing after God and fulfilling your purpose. If things are horrible while in courtship, they will not automatically become better just because you’ve said “I do”. Be wise!
I say it often and I mean it – it’s better to be joyfully single than miserably married so don’t force it. I’m praying for you – may you be sensitive enough to know if and when any relationship should not get to the altar.
The fact that everybody is doing something in your field a particular way doesn’t make their way the only way. In your quest to fulfil your assignment in life, you don’t have to do things EXACTLY as others have done it, otherwise you won’t be unique. Find your purpose and own your craft; ask the Holy Spirit to give you creative ideas on how to bring that passion and vision to life while standing out.
While it’s so important to learn from others who have gone ahead of you, remember that it’s what eyes have not yet seen nor ears heard that God has in store for you (1 Corinthians 2:9) and it’s far above what we can think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). So rather than just blend in as another business, another ministry, another organisation, etc, carve your niche as one with a striking difference from all others. It may look strange or it may not make sense but as long as its Holy Spirit inspired, everyone must stop and take notice when it’s your time.
Think of what unique touches will make people keep coming to you for what you offer. People may not even like you but because you have what they need, they’ll have no choice but to be attracted to you! Find your craft, perfect it and be confident about it. Don’t take any moment for granted and don’t despise the current phase of life. Remain so joyful and expectant! That thing may not have ever been done before, but who says you can’t be the first to do it?
My Personal Pastor, David Oyedepo Jnr. speaking of the favour of God, often says “the fact that it hasn’t been done before, doesn’t mean it can’t be done for you.” In this context, I’ll go further and say because it hasn’t been done before, doesn’t meant it can’t be done by YOU!#thursdaymotivation #ownyourcraft #perfectyourcraft#dowhathasntbeendone #light #thegreatlight #keepwalkinginthegreatlight
Your spouse cannot complete you. They may try their best but they will fall short because they don’t have the ability to do what only God can do. They may actually really be wonderful individuals but they will at some point, disappoint you. When you know you are complete in Christ, you won’t look to your spouse as a source of your joy, your happiness or your completion.
They may add to your joy but they can’t be the source of it. If you see them as the source of your joy, every time they may offend you or do something you don’t like (those times will come), you will lose your joy. And no one should ever have the power to do that. Many are frustrated because they expect their spouse to complete theming even fulfil them.
When your focus is really on God, He gives you all you need to effectively handle every situation with wisdom. Remember that marriage begins with you (the individual). Refocus your direction to Jesus Christ; that’s where your true joy. Build and maintain a solid relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
As much as you and your spouse are one, salvation is a personal journey. 100% joy and completion is only available in Him, and when you are really rooted in Christ, no one and NO situation can take your joy or completion away from you! – Kemi Oyedepo #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents BUT a prudent wife is from the Lord – Proverbs 19:14
As a single gentleman, your parents and those who love you can give you the finer things in life but NOBODY has what it takes to give you a prudent wife. Such a rare gift can come only from the Lord! The kind of wife you desire should be the one that only God can give. While you search to find, keepasking God to direct your steps to a woman who exhibits the traits of a prudent wife. Among other things, a prudent person is sensible, discreet, wise, considerate, understanding, resourceful, etc. That’s the kind of wife every man who wants a wife, needs.
Don’t find your wife alone, don’t search based on worldly standards. Your choice of a wife can either be your making or breaking so involve God every step of the way. It’s okay to be physically attracted to your potential wife but be more concerned about her traits and character. People can tell you how perfect a lady is for you based on what they see or what they know but it’s only God who knows the deep things of an individual. So even when it comes to finding a wife, ensure you are divinely guided! As you do so, make sure you are also working on yourself; prudence should also be evident in you (or a work in progress)! Even the woman you consider to be Mrs Right is hoping to be found by whom she also considers to be Mr Right so it shouldn’t be one sided.
As a single lady who desires to be found, develop traits in yourself that exhibit prudence, strive to be an excellent wife and commit the process of waiting into the hand of the Lord while also praying for a husband that only God can give. Only good and perfect gifts come from God so you can be at peace that as long as its in God’s hands, all will be well. Enjoy your season and let the joy of the Lord radiate from the inside out. At the right time, when both your paths cross, and you have the assurance and backing of the Holy Spirit, your relationship and ultimately marriage will be the type that only God can give! – Kemi Oyedepo #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily #ontheroadtoido #prudence
If you want to know the real state of a marriage/family, one of the best people to ask are the children. They see clearly everything going on in a home. The adults can pretend and even try to hide some things but the children see and know it all. They observe when mum and dad are not affectionate, they see when mum and dad don’t respect each other. They see when mum and dad raise their voices and insult each other. And when they see those things, they know that such attitudes are wrong.
As a husband and wife or father and mother, you have a duty to deliberately provide a loving and safe environment for your child(ren); a home where they can feel secure. How you interact with each other and handle issues determine the stability (spiritually, emotionally, etc) of your child. I often say that the marriage is a garden where the children grow and how we tend to any garden determines the outcome of the plants, flowers, etc. So it’s important we tend to our marital garden well so our children can flourish; and so the best in them can come out. When you ask a child to draw a picture of their family, they often include some details that give you a clear picture of what happens in the home. A child once drew a picture of his home: he drew the house, his 3 siblings and his parents. He then shaded the inside of the house really dark and he drew some circles under the house.
When asked to describe his drawing, he said he drew it that way because nobody got along at home and he felt his house was always in a storm. Of course his parents (who acted like all was well outside) were extremely embarrassed. Be conscious of the image you present to them; keep reminding yourself that you have an artist in your midst.
So let the picture of your marriage and the family in their head be one that gives them joy. If your child was to draw a detailed picture of your home now, how do you think it’ll look? Whatever the answer may be, promote God’s love always and be conscious about it. And it’s not just for your child(ren) but for you. You also need to enjoy your marriage; after all, marriage is the foundation for the family! #parenting #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily
As someone who is born again, the number one place that your light should shine is in your family. In fact, soul winning should begin at home. Most times, we strive to ensure our lights shine brightest outside; to colleagues, church members, strangers and those that that we want to draw into the kingdom of God. However, every light shines brightest at its base (the home).
From your spouse, your children, your siblings, to your parents, etc; do they see the light of God in you? If your light is dim to the people closest to you, re-evaluate yourself. Is your lifestyle really reflecting Jesus? The words you speak, the things you do and the way you do them, etc. What are you reflecting? Who are you reflecting? If they are not born again yet, is your output strong enough to draw them closer to Jesus? Even your godly life can speak to them without any words and they can be won over into the kingdom (1 Peter 3:1).
After the life of Christ comes into us, we still have a duty to deliberately work on ourselves to change habits and character traits in us that may get in the way of the gospel we’re trying to “preach”. Apostle Paul tells us that when we put on the new man, we MUST put off the old man, we must get rid of anything that contradicts the new life we have inside us (Colossians 3). It is when people see your good works, that they will glorify your Father in heaven. It is when your family members see your good works, that they’ll be eager to come to the knowledge and acceptance of Christ.
While we’re called to “preach” the gospel wherever and whenever, if everyone is getting saved outside and those closest to you are not, it should concern you. It’s easy for those outside to accept you as you present yourself but your family members know the real you. Make sure that as you’re praying and travailing for their salvation, everything about you reflects the life of Christ in you. Blessed weekend! – Kemi Oyedepo#soulwinningbeginsathome #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily #ontheroadtoido
Everything about marriage rises and falls on spirituality! Marriage is a spiritual house and you cannot build/maintain it in the energy of the flesh. Regardless of how long you’ve been married, if you don’t keep your spiritual life charged, the enemy will take charge of your home. In marriage, the enemy is prepared to throw so much at us and if we’re not ready, he’ll throw us off balance. Don’t build your home with carnal methods; it’ll get you nowhere. Stop being ruled by your emotions and feelings!
Remember- To be spiritually minded is life and peace; to be carnally minded is death (Romans 8:6). It’s not just saying that you’re spiritual that makes it so; if you’re spiritually minded, it’ll show in your words/conduct. If you’re spiritually minded, when things are not right in your relationship and family, you’ll do what it takes to kick anything contrary to peace out. You can’t claim to be spiritual and yet strife, unforgiveness, division, etc are allowed to linger. If you’re prayerful, the effects MUST show at home.
If things are not as they ought to be, stop ignoring or accepting it! Humbly seek the help of the Holy Spirit to show you what may have gone wrong so it can be corrected. 1 Corinthians 3:1- For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? You may feel your spouse is quarrelsome, remember it takes two to quarrel. Find ways to always promote peace! As long as you know what to do as a Christian, do it. If you keep yourself spiritually awake, you’ll find that with time, even your “quarrelsome” spouse will begin to calm down. But if you choose to join them in promoting division, at every opportunity, things will escalate.
Wisdom is profitable! Whatever you do, don’t suffer in silence. If your life is in danger, speak up! As you seek the help of the Holy Spirit, prayerfully also seek the help of mature counselors who can get you on the right track. If you’re still single, you’ll be wise to keep yourself spiritually alive from today. Not only will it help you in marriage, it will prevent you from saying “I do” to the wrong person.
If and when you find yourself in a heated discussion with your (potential) spouse, it’s always best to take a step back. Not just to calm down but also to pray. Even when you calm down, you may still end up saying things that you shouldn’t. Pray first so that your spirit subdues your flesh. That’s what’s important! Pray first so the Holy Spirit can give you utterance that will gain entrance into your (potential) spouse’s heart.
Pray first so you can access the wisdom of God to help diffuse any tension. In fact, prayer also helps you see where you may be the offender. You’ll be convicted and when that happens, be quick to take responsibility. It doesn’t mean the wrong behavior of the other person should not be addressed if they’re the offender but regardless of who is at fault, it’s unwise to let a heated atmosphere escalate. Especially when wisdom is at work in you.
Don’t be so bent on saying everything that’s on your mind at that moment or retaliating what may have been said or done to you. Guess what? That’s what the devil wants. He wants both people to keep going and going at each other until severe damage is done. Don’t be ignorant of his devices (2 Corinthians 2:11). I often like to say that even in marriage, we have to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
It may look like your spouse is the problem but it’s deeper than that. The devil is always lurking around to see how he can sow seeds of strife and chaos (1 Peter 5:8) Give him no place!