How does finding a wife work?

QUESTION: How does finding a wife work? Am I to find by myself? Am I to pray to God to show me clearly who to marry? What qualities do I need to look out for?

Answer: I understand that a man is to find a wife by himself and ask God to validate/endorse his choice (Prov.18:22). I also understand that God can direct your steps clearly to the woman that is appointed for you. Either way, as long as God is involved, you can’t miss it. You must subdue your flesh so you can clearly hear what the Spirit of the Lord is saying concerning a wife. The fact that a lady is nice, doesn’t necessarily make her the appointed one to join you in the journey of life.

While there are many qualities such as a woman who is hardworking, respectful, a team player, prayerful, etc. I’ll say one major quality you should pray for in a wife is that she is a woman of peace and she is understanding. The Scriptures say that “Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth but only the Lord can give an understanding/prudent wife” – Proverbs 19:14. Marriage will come with a lot of detours and some challenges, and as the leader of the home who may have to make some critical decisions, you can’t afford not to have an understanding wife.

Let me say this though, you must not be found taking advantage of the fact that she is understanding. Don’t behave as you please and think there won’t be consequences. Whatever you desire in her, should be found twice as much in you as the one leading the home. Although this question came from a man, I’ll advise ladies who desire to be married, to pray to be found without delays. Ask God to help you be at the right place at the right time and that His favour will cause you to be noticed, as you also consciously prepare yourself for marriage.

While doing all this, be at peace. If you’re anxious about marriage, you’ll end up making poor choices. Whatever you do, don’t force any relationship. Marriage is rightfully yours as you desire it but if you enter into it by all means, the consequences can be too costly. I hope this has been helpful.

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