Question: I had an extramarital affair but I am now born again and have stopped. However, even though I believe God has forgiven me, and I have sought the forgiveness of my spouse, I still feel condemned and ashamed. Please advice me.
Answer: ,First of all, the truth is that an affair is a tough thing to get over because of the damage it causes in a marriage. However, there is nothing that cannot be repaired by God. Secondly, as long as you have sought God’s forgiveness, there is no need to still condemn yourself for the mistake you made. You’re born again so you are a new creature and old things have passed away. You must therefore wholeheartedly receive the forgiveness of God, shake off feelings of guilt by casting down condemning thoughts. Be assured that you have been cleansed from all unrighteousness. God is faithful; when God forgives, He forgives!
Thirdly, the complete forgiveness of your wife/husband is critical in order for your marriage to be restored. Earnestly seek their forgiveness and be ready to do what it takes to earn their trust back. Don’t expect this to be automatic; you have to prove yourself to be trustworthy again and it may take some time for your spouse to fully trust you again. Finally, you should also pray for them that their forgiveness is complete and seeds of bitterness don’t spring up in them.
You (as an individual or as a couple) would also benefit from some godly counseling from trustworthy sources that are geared towards offering you both the necessary encouragement and support on the road to healing and restoration. I trust this has been helpful and believe God that your home will not be destroyed!