QUESTION: My wife cheated on me and I am so hurt but I still love her. I’ve been advised to call it quits even though she is so remorseful. Should I forgive her or divorce her? I’m reminded that even Jesus said it’s okay to end a marriage on that basis.
ANSWER: It’s true that Jesus said whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery unless his wife has been unfaithful (Matthew 19:9). However, in verse 8, He said although Moses permitted divorce, it was not what God had originally intended. God hates divorce because of the great damage it does so whatever we can do to prevent it, should be done.
What your wife did was very wrong but I strongly believe that your marriage can survive adultery if you are both willing. Will it be easy? No. Will it require a lot of work to get over? Yes. Will it be worth it in the end? Absolutely. God can still heal your relationship and make you both one again. It’s very easy for people to tell you to call it quits but as hard as it may be, you have to be willing to minister grace to your wife.
While some marriages have completely broken down due to adultery, many homes have also been able to recover from it, and yours can too! Forgive and protect her from shame. Remember that Love covers a multitude of sins. Give her a chance to prove herself to be trustworthy again and consider what the loopholes may have been. What led her to do so, and how can it be avoided in the future?
Prayerfully seek godly counseling to help you through this tough process, and don’t give up easily. Give God’s Word a chance to work for you. In the energy of the flesh, it’s a hard thing but His Spirit is there to help our weaknesses; take advantage of this help.
Please limit the number of people that are informed of this situation and only disclose to those who can offer you genuine and godly counsel; those who are ready to help you both towards healing and restoration. May God give you answers of peace and make your marriage anew as you go through this process!