I never speak for any marriage but my own. However, I refuse to believe that fighting and arguing is inevitable in marriage. Especially in a Christ-centered one. I believe if we’re truly walking out our salvation and allowing the fruit of the spirit to be at work in us, there should be no place for such.
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Yes, there MUST be differences of opinions, after all, we’re not exactly the same. Even with that, it’s possible to handle issues without it degenerating to heated discussions. If we truly meditate on God’s Word which gives counsel on how to behave in a home, we shouldn’t be among those saying you must fight and argue in your home. Even if that’s how your marriage started, don’t continue that way. I wish more people will teach about marriage from a different angle, demonstrating it and helping others renew their minds instead of joining the crowd. It may not be easy for many of us but it’s doable if Christ is truly at the center of it all.
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I still maintain that if you’re calm, respectful, forgiving, kind, etc outside your home – church, the workplace, etc, you can be that and much more at home. Consider your home as too sacred for strife, etc (James 3:16). Arguments are for the court of law, not for your home, by the way.
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If you are in courtship, please discuss how you intend to manage differences in your marriage. Don’t just let the chips fall where they may. Seek wisdom on how you can prevent this negative ‘side effect’ altogether. FYI: succumbing to fighting, arguing, etc actually also hinders your spiritual growth. Growth happens when we deliberately work on subduing our emotions to handle our differences while still promoting peace. Because it’s normal, doesn’t mean that’s how it’s supposed to be. We heard many couples say this but decided to go a different route by God’s grace. When the light of God’s Word shows you a better way of doing things, please learn to FOLLOW that light. I’m no expert; just sharing some inspired truths. As always, seek godly counseling if needed. Wishing you the best of God in your own marriage. Cheers…