The importance of going after the knowledge and understanding needed to run marriage and family effectively can’t be overemphasised. While wisdom builds a home, understanding establishes it, and knowledge fills the home with rare and precious jewels (Proverbs 24:3). Knowledge brings stability (Isaiah 33:6) and a person who lacks understanding is as good as dead (Proverbs 21:16).
Husbands are told to dwell with their wives according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7) – I believe wives should do the same. While wisdom is the principal thing, we’re told it must be gotten with understanding (Proverbs 4:7). It’s obvious that the place of knowledge and understanding is crucial for any endeavour in life, including in the home. When a person lacks knowledge or understanding, a journey of 1 year can take 10 years! Resources and energy that could have been engaged in important things are wasted.
Even time that should be invested in being productive is lost. Too many families have been negatively impacted simply because knowledge and understanding is lacking. For every issue, there is a solution. It’s in God’s Word and in Holy Spirit (the most authentic marriage counsellor) inspired resource materials. No matter how long you’ve been married, if things are not working as they ought to, go after what you need. If you’re a single lady or gentleman, arm yourself appropriately. Marriage is not like everything else so you can never have too much information about it. Things won’t automatically change for the better for us without a deliberate and conscious effort to arm ourselves with the information (knowledge) and insight (understanding) that will help bring the best out of us and then out of our family life.
Read books, get counsel if necessary, just do what you need to do to get things right. Whatever you do, don’t wallow in pride and ignorance while your relationship suffers. The solution is readily available. Go after it and engage the truths you find. That is wisdom! Blessed weekend. – Kemi Oyedepo
The Scriptural Meditations for Children (Ages 0-5) is ready!!
This is to date, the greatest CPYF resource I’ve been inspired to release!
It’s a 30-Day journey to help challenge you and your children to grow in the Scriptures so you can use it over and over again until the Scriptures penetrate deep into your child’s heart!
I hope you’re excited about it too and I’m praying for you as you use it, the effects will find great expression in them in Jesus name, amen!
If you find it helpful, please remember to share it!
Enjoy the journey!!!!
Please click the link below to download it!
Scriptural Meditations (0-5 Years)
One of the greatest ways to add value to yourself is through continuous self/personal development. Be on a quest for more information regarding various subject matters of interest to you. Some topics may not even really be your passion but no knowledge is wasted! Decide areas you need to improve on and go after the resources available to help enhance you.
This is not just about spiritual development but other areas that are critical to your success as an individual. Financial management, time management, stress management, goal setting and achievement, effective communication, etc. Such topics impact us as individuals. And because the value of any relationship is determined by the value of the individuals in it, such topics are also crucial for family life. Pick up books, attend seminars, acquire new skills and enhance your capacity.
Gather knowledge in various areas that will sharpen your thinking and make you a well rounded individual. Challenge yourself to be a better version of yourself and be willing to give it what it takes. Discipline yourself to become a productive individual; that’s how to become an asset. If you’re a single lady or gentleman now, don’t wait until you get married; today is a good day to start your journey towards self development!
Remember that even in marriage, nobody likes a liability! If you’re married, the same applies; carry your spouse along on the journey if possible. I’ve personally gathered much knowledge on topics I wasn’t interested in before, from learning about animals😀 to investments, thanks to my hubby! Whatever you do, don’t let days, months, years meet you at the same spot.
There is no end to continuous self development so we must keep investing into upgrading ourselves as much as possible. The value we receive from such investments won’t only have a positive effect on us but it will show in our various endeavours from our careers to our family life! – Kemi Oyedepo
Valley of Decisions, the first fiction short story from CPYF is full of lessons that resonates with many individuals.
Follow the stories of Laila Ocheng, Ben Manda, Matthew Smith and Kiki Taylor, as they make decisions that will affect their lives forever! This is not just a novel but also a treasure that will help guide you while you’re in your valley of decisions and get you on your God-ordained path towards your marital destiny.
Click below to download this teaching novel and be blessed!
Valley of Decisions
If you really want to experience peace in your marriage, you must be sensitive about the company you keep. As a husband or wife, there’s no good reason why you should maintain an extremely close friendship with an individual of the opposite gender, especially if your spouse is uncomfortable with it. Even if your spouse seems okay with it, it is wise to put boundaries in place with that friendship once you get married.
You may have been best friends with that person long before marriage, it doesn’t really matter. The dynamics of that relationship still has to change drastically if you really want to enjoy your home. You can no longer have unending conversations or go and come with that male or female friend as you please. It is your responsibility to let them know that things can no longer be as they were and if they can’t accept it, that friendship may have to end. You decide what step to take!
Whatever you do, don’t maintain that friendship by force if it’s breaking your marriage apart; that’s foolish! If care is not taken, that individual will be up to date about your personal life than your spouse and that will be problematic. While that friendship was great during your single season, it can pose a threat to your marriage. Your allegiance is now to your spouse so have respect for him/her. Don’t begin any unnecessary friendship with someone of the opposite gender either. Your intentions may be pure but that individual may have their own agenda to divide your home. Once you decided to get married, your closest relationship is automatically with your spouse so focus on building and maintaining your marriage. You have a duty to make him/her feel secure in the marriage and not have doubts for marrying you.
If you’re a single lady or gentleman and you feel there are friendships you have to hold on to by all means when you get married, it’s best you remain single for a little while longer. It may not seem like a big deal but this topic has been one of the causes of strife in too many homes and unfortunately some homes have been destroyed beyond repair because of it. PLEASE Be wise!
Expressions of love dont come naturally to us. Putting others first, advanced and continuous forgiveness, among other things, are what we’d rather not do especially when we feel hurt or offended. Especially when we feel the recipient doesn’t deserve it. However, Love is something we have to work on until it becomes part of us. In other words, we have to become ROOTED and GROUNDED in love – Ephesians 3:17. To be rooted means to be firmly established; to be immovable or unshakeable.
Think of an Oak tree or a similar strong tree that remains planted even when the storms try to sweep it away. It’s firmly rooted in the ground so nothing can change its position. That is where we have to be as Christians especially in our relationships and families. When you’re grounded in love, your feelings or emotions don’t have the final say over your words and actions. There will be instances when you don’t feel like loving as you ought to, or praying for your (potential) spouse as you ought to, or even speaking to your spouse as you ought to but your rooting in love will push you to do exactly what you don’t feel like doing.
If you’re rooted in love, it will always produce good fruits in you… no matter what. However being rooted in love requires allowing Christ to dwell in our hearts by faith as the Scripture states. We have to give the Holy Spirit room to work in us so we can love as we ought to. It’s impossible to be rooted in love without our deliberate and continuous effort to grow in the Word of God. That’s the only way the love of God will flow out of us without restraint. In fact, when we are truly rooted and grounded in love, it doesn’t just make love part of our nature, it actually makes love our nature; it becomes who we are.
When praying for your spouse or yourself, never forget to ask the Holy Spirit to help you both remain rooted and grounded in God’s love. That is what helps a couple overlook errors and imperfections. It is critical for any relationship to flourish. Moreover, when we’re firmly established in God’s love, His presence, His blessings, His peace will be the evidence.
Nobody likes a quarrelsome or troublesome person. In fact, nobody desires to live with such a person. The definition of such a person is one who causes difficulty or annoyance. I call such people men and women of war. They are never at peace when there is peace. They create something out of nothing, they find faults. They are never satisfied unless there is a fight!
Don’t take pride in being such a person. If some things must be discussed in your relationship or family, you don’t have to end up in a war zone. You see, the Scriptures call such people fools (Pro. 20:3). Whether you’re married or single, ask yourself, ‘am I such a person’? If you are, make some changes. That’s not a good trait to have so don’t be proud of being a troublemaker! Don’t be proud of being a concern in your home and to those around you. In fact, it should bother you if that’s how you are, as a Christian.
Humble yourself and ask God to help you prune such traits away. It’s so serious that the Scriptures tell us it’s better to live on the corner of the rooftop, risking your life, than to live with a contentious wife (Proverbs 25:24). It also says it’s better to live far away in the desert than with a nagging wife. I believe it goes both ways because some husbands have such traits. Be a man or woman of peace! The God kind of peace. If you’re a person of war, you can’t be spiritual, it’s impossible. The evidence will show in your output. Your spouse or those around you may be troublesome but that’s never an excuse to join them. Instead, handle issues with wisdom and let the life of Christ flow or if you.
Remember, we should do our very best to be at peace with all men (Romans 12:18, Hebrews 12:14) most especially at home! Single ladies and gentlemen, hear ye the word of the Lord😃: as you pray and watch for whatever you desire in a spouse, at the top of your list should be a person of peace. Don’t be sentimental; this is non-negotiable if you want to enjoy your marriage! – Kemi Oyedepo#marriage #light #wisdom #crisisproofyourfamily
— with Infinitjohn Orimisan.
Proverbs 22:3; Proverbs 27:12
Be sensitive enough to know when a relationship needs to end. There are many individuals in relationships that should end with speed! Many see the signs and know good and well that they and their potential spouse are just not compatible (able to coexist in peace and harmony) but they hold on to that relationship by a string, doing everything they can to make it work. You’ll be doing yourself more harm than good if that is your approach. It doesn’t matter how long that relationship has been, if you are not married, you are not married. 🙌🏾
Courtship and marriage can never and will never be the same thing. Yes, relationships require work and you sometimes have to resolve conflict to get to a place of peace but if you both keep putting in energy and you see clearly that it’s not working; you’re not of one mind, you don’t agree, you don’t share the same values, your spiritual life is going down the drain, that should tell you something. Even without anyone advising you, take the time to evaluate or assess that relationship; if you’re investing so much and you’re seeing zero results, it’s time to wake up! Don’t deceive yourself. Your life and peace of mind are more important than getting married.
At some point, you have to be real with yourself, break it off, learn from any mistakes and keep it moving. At first, it may feel like you’ll never be able to get over it but believe me you will. Jumping into another relationship is not the answer either. As long as you allow God to become your all in all and mend your broken heart, you will come out better. Marriage is absolutely good but you can still have an amazing and enjoyable time as a single lady or gentleman, chasing after God and fulfilling your purpose. If things are horrible while in courtship, they will not automatically become better just because you’ve said “I do”. Be wise!
I say it often and I mean it – it’s better to be joyfully single than miserably married so don’t force it. I’m praying for you – may you be sensitive enough to know if and when any relationship should not get to the altar.
The fact that everybody is doing something in your field a particular way doesn’t make their way the only way. In your quest to fulfil your assignment in life, you don’t have to do things EXACTLY as others have done it, otherwise you won’t be unique. Find your purpose and own your craft; ask the Holy Spirit to give you creative ideas on how to bring that passion and vision to life while standing out.
While it’s so important to learn from others who have gone ahead of you, remember that it’s what eyes have not yet seen nor ears heard that God has in store for you (1 Corinthians 2:9) and it’s far above what we can think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). So rather than just blend in as another business, another ministry, another organisation, etc, carve your niche as one with a striking difference from all others. It may look strange or it may not make sense but as long as its Holy Spirit inspired, everyone must stop and take notice when it’s your time.
Think of what unique touches will make people keep coming to you for what you offer. People may not even like you but because you have what they need, they’ll have no choice but to be attracted to you! Find your craft, perfect it and be confident about it. Don’t take any moment for granted and don’t despise the current phase of life. Remain so joyful and expectant! That thing may not have ever been done before, but who says you can’t be the first to do it?
My Personal Pastor, David Oyedepo Jnr. speaking of the favour of God, often says “the fact that it hasn’t been done before, doesn’t mean it can’t be done for you.” In this context, I’ll go further and say because it hasn’t been done before, doesn’t meant it can’t be done by YOU!#thursdaymotivation #ownyourcraft #perfectyourcraft#dowhathasntbeendone #light #thegreatlight #keepwalkinginthegreatlight
Your spouse cannot complete you. They may try their best but they will fall short because they don’t have the ability to do what only God can do. They may actually really be wonderful individuals but they will at some point, disappoint you. When you know you are complete in Christ, you won’t look to your spouse as a source of your joy, your happiness or your completion.
They may add to your joy but they can’t be the source of it. If you see them as the source of your joy, every time they may offend you or do something you don’t like (those times will come), you will lose your joy. And no one should ever have the power to do that. Many are frustrated because they expect their spouse to complete theming even fulfil them.
When your focus is really on God, He gives you all you need to effectively handle every situation with wisdom. Remember that marriage begins with you (the individual). Refocus your direction to Jesus Christ; that’s where your true joy. Build and maintain a solid relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
As much as you and your spouse are one, salvation is a personal journey. 100% joy and completion is only available in Him, and when you are really rooted in Christ, no one and NO situation can take your joy or completion away from you! – Kemi Oyedepo #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily