Category Archives: Reflections

Value adding woman…

MKOPIC

I absolutely love seeing women succeed and bring their dreams to life. I love seeing women break barriers in different industries. It makes the difference for me when these women have the God factor! I get excited when I see women doing so many different things in their various fields, while giving credit to the One who placed the gifts and talents in them in the first place; never forgetting the One who has enabled them to do it all and ooze excellence in all they do. To me, that’s a ‪‎valueaddigwoman‬! One who is bent on adding value to the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs of those they come across, from their families to strangers!

It drives me to be a better version of myself. It also shows me that in me, lies more than a mother or a wife; in me lies someone who can make a difference and impact my world in my own little way. Whether you are a teacher, a minister, a baker, a pharmacist, whatever; I believe more of us women should be that way. Work on becoming the best in everything you do – from your marriage, to motherhood, to the works of your hands. Don’t settle for the status quo but be determined to step outside of the box, do things differently, come out of our comfort zone and become the standard in everything that you do.

We can’t add ‪value‬ unless we have value so we must continue upgrading our value by acquiring the skills, knowledge, etc that few people have. Ask the Holy Spirit to show what to do and which way to go. Don’t despise the beginning of your journey and don’t get distracted by what others are doing. Focus! Focus! ‪‎Focus‬! When we stay committed to whatever ‪God‬ has placed in our hands, we get to the point that people may not like our rising, they may not think we qualify, but they can’t deny our impact. Don’t wait! ‪‎Time‬ waits for no man! Today is the day to start becoming a ‪valueaddingwoman‬.

Praying Wife…

This is for the wifey’s😊out there. I gladly recommend this mini book. Single ladies can also use it to prepare but for the wifey’s specifically, they are more like prayer cards to use daily for our hubbies😊 I can’t get over it and I use it without fail.

👍Remember the bible says we should pray for those in authority (1 Timothy 2:2); well our husbands are the leaders of the home so they need all the prayer they can get, right😀? I’m sure there are others good books out there but this is a great one. I am all for adding value as a woman and one of the greatest ways we can do so is through heartfelt prayer! So, if possible, get it and be on the lookout for the Crisis-Proof Your Family one I’m working on by the help of the Holy Spirit😉 You’ll ❤️ it😌 ‪

POWER

Be Fervent… In Spirit

2015 Qoute BE FERVENT IN SPIRIT 20 x 20cm

I always knew that the responsibilities that come with being a woman were enormous. However, it made no difference to me until I became a wife, a mother, and worked outside of the home. Phew..that’s when I knew it was serious business – I am sure you ladies out there know what I am talking about. If care is not taken, it can shock you, overwhelm you, or even wear you out…. naturally. I had seen other women handle their various responsibilities but I truly felt the pressure when I left my single days behind and my various responsibilities expanded. Women wear so many hats…. wife, mother, family manager, accountant, lawyer, etc.,…that is A LOT of work!! But that’s the story of a woman’s life. One thing I have learnt though, is to never complain about the various things I have to do. My husband often says that “where you are is someone else’s prayer point“, and that statement has been more than enough to keep me in check. I also believe that we ladies have a very special place in God’s heart. I mean it’s such a privilege for Him to give us all these responsibilities; I always remind myself that it’s because He knows we can handle it, and many of us do it so flawlessly by His grace. I want to encourage you as a woman, more importantly, as a Value Adding Woman, never to see your roles as a burden but as a privilege. It has shown me that God knows the strength that we ladies posses. How won’t He? After all, He created us, right? People often ask me how I manage to balance a lot of what I do, and I always tell them it comes down to the state of my spirit. That’s something I don’t joke with because that is what keeps me going, no matter how tired I may feel. To be effective in all the different things we have to do, the state of our spirits is of utmost importance. The bible tells us to be fervent in spirit (Romans 12:11). To be fervent means to have a burning intensity for something. It means to build yourself up continuously in the Spirit. Why? Because when the spirit is alive, the body has not choice but to follow suit, even when naturally you are tired. Be determined to grow spiritually and it will help you handle all your roles effortlessly. Don’t let a day go by without studying the Word of God, and praying, especially in the Spirit. Don’t put pressure on yourself; do what works for you and then you’ll keep growing. Its important to do everything joyfully too, don’t get weary in doing well (Galatians 6:9), and don’t hang around those who try to make you see your various roles as a burden. Surround yourself with those who help you grow spiritually, and otherwise. Rest when you need to, because the human body does need to rest and recuperate but I can assure you that as long as your spirit is alive, you will be just fine. The bible also tells us that it’s the spirit of a man that sustains his infirmity, but a wounded spirit, who can bear? (Proverbs 18:14).  Women are the live-wire who keeps the family affairs going, and guess what? The enemy knows this, so he would try to bring you down. Proverbs 17:22 also tells us that a crushed spirit dries the bones. So do not let your spirit be crushed for a second. Keep reminding yourself that God has fully equipped you for all your assignments, and be determined to keep your spirit tempo up. That is what will sustain you in the long run!

know your worth…give your worth!

From me to you:

Please don’t let anybody, including yourself, diminish your potential!

You are a goldmine!
You are an asset!
You absolutely have something to offer to the world!

Be willing and ready to discover who you are in Christ! And run with the picture God shows you.

We all have the potential to be positive reference points in the world but having potential is not enough! Be ready to be stretched! Be ready to be uncomfortable! Be ready to have less sleep!

Being single shouldn’t stop you!
Marriage shouldn’t stop you!
Motherhood shouldn’t stop you!
Nothing & No one should be given the privilege of stopping you!

Women all over the world have done amazing things by God’s grace.

Don’t feel the need to compete with your husband! Instead be determined to add value to him!
Don’t feel the need to compete with your children! Instead be determined to add value to them!
Don’t feel the need to compete with others! Instead be determined to add value to the world! There is something in you that somebody needs! It will be selfish not to give it!

Be a Value Adding Woman!

Know what your own unique assignment is, stay in your lane and maintain your focus!

Create a balance, know when to wait and know the right time to move. Whatever you do, don’t stop & don’t remain stagnant!

IT’S ENOUGH FOR YOU….

gods-love-is-enough

My daughter was playing with her fake dog a few days ago and as I walked by, I gave her a big hug. When I began to walk away, she said “mummy loves me so much” as she combed her dogs hair. I walked back to where she was and said “of course I love you” She said “yes I know, and you will always love me” I said “you are right. I will always love you” She said “no matter what, you will love me forever”.

I laughed and said yes. Then I asked her “how do you know mummy loves you?” She said “because you always tell me you do, and you always give me big hugs, that’s how I know, mummy”, and carried on with her dog.

I simply smiled and went about my business but I began to think about how vulnerable my children are with me; they believe absolutely everything I say and take it as the law, as the truth. Because they know I love them, it is easy for them to have ‘faith’ in me. Because they know I love them, they don’t question the fact that I would meet their needs to the best of my ability. They take me at my word. It made me think about my relationship with God.

No wonder Jesus said unless we become like little children, we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3). It means that we have to take God at His Word at every point in time simply because He has said so. It means that we need to change our mind-set and think exactly like children think. It’s not that we need to become immature or childish, but we must learn to accept things effortlessness from The Word of God.

It reminded me of some time ago, when I was meditating after studying about faith in Hebrews 11. I thought about how important faith was for people like Joseph, Daniel, Abraham, Sarah and others in the scriptures, to stand out in life. For them, hoping and believing in God’s Word, simply accepting it, is what made the difference. Something came to my spirit that day from God, and it was “the same way your children have faith in you; you also, must have faith in me”. That made it as practical as it could be for me!

One Sunday when my husband was teaching, he said something that stuck with me. He said “the Bible is simply a documentation of God’s thoughts towards us (Jeremiah 29:11). He has already told us how He feels about us. Our responsibility is to believe what He has said and accept it by faith”

That is all we need to do. The fact that God has said it, should be enough for us. The fact that I tell my daughter I love her is enough for her to accept it and take it as the truth. So she is at rest just knowing that; which means that every ounce of fear and anxiety is far from her.

It’s that simple. He loves you so much and He has proven it by sending His son to die on the cross (John 3:16). It cannot be any more practical than that. All He needs you to do is to accept that truth and have faith in Him. When you do so, you will no longer have any reason to fret over the issues of life!

As I walked away from my daughter, I began to sing the popular song that children always sing:

Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so

Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong

Yes Jesus loves me. Yes Jesus loves me. Yes Jesus loves me.

The Bible tells me so!

That song is so simple but it also depicts the deep truth of God’s love towards us. I pray you will see His love as more than enough for you. When you accept it effortlessly and just bask in that truth, all things contrary to peace of mind will be far from you!

Strive for such a Spirit…

meekandquiet

It’s important for every lady to carry herself with dignity. I always like to tell ladies, young and old, married and single, and I even keep reminding myself that if we must be known for something, we should be known as respectable, as courteous, as prudent, as wise, as kind, etc. Not as one whose mouth leaks, who gossips, who is quarrelsome, etc. Such behaviors will not only affect you but it will also affect your husband wherever he is found. As a wife, your husband may have his own issues but please don’t justify yourself by also behaving contrary to what God created you to be. When a husband is misbehaving and a wife is also misbehaving, the outcome is never good. This also applies to you as a single lady; if hurtful, loose talk is something that is identified with you, you will suffer from a reputation that will go ahead of you wherever you go and you will be a detriment or contribute to the ruin of your husband and your future home. In fact, a potential husband may pass you by just because of such attributes. Remember that the bible says it’s better to dwell on the roof of a house than with a nagging or quarrelsome wife (Proverbs 21:9) and if you go further down to verse 19, we are told this time that it is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman. Imagine that! That is to say that it is better for a man to live a dry life than to be with such a woman because nothing good can come out of such a situation. No man wants such a wife! Please let us discipline ourselves to speak only good and let it reflect in our actions. Don’t sit down and gossip with other women here and there. I believe that people who gossip, who are troublesome, who always want to fight are like a thrash can. You know a thrash can? Rubbish or garbage goes in and rubbish or garbage comes out of it. Please don’t let anybody make you a thrash can and don’t take pride in being one. For whatever reason, women can naturally be troublesome but it is not something that cannot be pruned away with God’s help and with our determination. Even if such negative traits are often linked to women, make yourself the exception. Let people say that you are a lady with a difference. A meek and quiet spirit is of great price in God’s sight and a woman who possesses such a spirit will always give her husband and those around her rest (1 Peter 3:4). So lets strive for such a spirit. Nobody is born that way; it is something we must consciously work hard to achieve and if God’s Word is dwelling richly in us, only edifying words and actions must come out of us.

Be therewith content….

The below is a piece written by my dear sister in law – AYOMITIDE OYEDEPO. It will be a blessing to you. Enjoy….

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There is so much joy and peace in contentment, so much that if you put pressure on yourself to satisfy the world, you will never enjoy your life. 1 Timothy 6:8 says, “..And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.” The Bible also tells us that godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). That scripture basically means that once you have God on your side, practice contentment, and what you will get is great gain; even gains that money cannot buy. Ensure that despite the pressures of the world on you, you do not put pressure on your own self. Be satisfied with each stage you are in per time, fully assured that God has the best in store for you and He will make it available when you need it. Sometimes, people make statements like “I’ve done all I know to do, but it looks like God is still not blessing me.” I tell them that if they have truly done all, the next step is to wait; God is not blind, He will honour you in due season. I will like to paint this picture for you, which has helped me in no small measure: my 3 year old son LOVES cars to a fault and he sometimes wants to drive himself and everyone so desperately, but as much as he loves the car, I can never give him the keys at this time, despite his tears. Why don’t I give the keys to him? First, because I love him so much; secondly, because I know better and thirdly, I don’t want his life or the life of the people he wants to drive, to be cut short.  When he becomes of age, and he can handle the responsibilities that come with driving a car, he will get the keys. That is exactly how it is with many children of God; they feel they know better than God and are not satisfied with their current state, not realizing that God is saving them from many disasters that may arise. The truth is that even if God were to explain His reasons to them, they wouldn’t understand; they want what they want and they want it NOW. As long as you’re walking in God’s Will for your life, be too convinced that your story can only get better and what you don’t have right now, you truly don’t need. God knows the best time to give you those things you desperately desire, and trust me, you’d be thankful to God that He actually didn’t hearken to your own timing. Hebrews 13:5 tell us that “…..and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”. He will never leave you nor forsake you – that should give you so much comfort. Don’t let your heart be troubled, simply remain content even in the challenges you may be facing. Hold your peace and at the right time, God Himself will bring you out!

LIVING LIFE BY SUBTRACTION…

timewaitsfornoone

One of the greatest things I have learnt in my short time on earth is that time waits for no man or woman.  If you choose to hang around doing nothing, letting years pass you by, your results would be just that – nothing!

While that statement is true for everyone, I think ladies should be more conscious about it because of the different phases we have to go through in life. I would try not to bore you with this but I believe that you would be blessed by it.

LIVING LIFE BY SUBTRACTION!

Most times, when my husband gives a birthday speech, he always reminds us to live life by subtraction. Even though naturally we may be adding a year to our lives, we are actually subtracting from the number of years left for us on the earth. The bible says, “teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom” (Psalm 90:12), so that means we cannot afford to live carelessly. We must be taking account of our days on the earth and that would help us number our time on the earth, because life is time.

For example, I strongly believe that I would live long on the earth if Jesus tarries. With that in mind, I have subtracted the number of years I have lived so far from the number of years I would live according to God’s promise of satisfying me with long life – 120. So I know I have only X number of years left on the earth.  That, in essence tells me that whatever impact I need to make in my generation must be made quickly; not with a hurried mindset and not moving out of fear just to get it done but with the mindset that time would not wait for me. With the mindset that there is something in me that the world needs and I cannot afford to fail my generation.

If I keep telling myself that 5 years is far away and believe I still have all the time in the world to do what God has placed in my hand, without making motion, the 5 years would show up and meet me right on the same spot.

In reflecting, I am at an age that most people don’t get to live to see, so I am really greatful to God for preserving my life. The truth is I never thought I would be where I am now at this age. God Himself has taken me and elevated me beyond my wildest dreams, for whatever reason. It may not mean anything to you but I lived in a small city called Tulsa, Oklahoma and God caused my husband to find me there and just by being joined to him, my destiny took a turn for the best; treasures in me began to emerge.

Now as a lady,  I wasn’t waiting to just get married, I have always had a vision to do some of the things I do now particularly in the not for profit sector but WOW; God saw beyond that and expanded the vision to an even larger scale. While I was in school, I was involved in various activities on campus to develop myself. I am aware that there are many who can do it better but I thank God for trusting me enough and equipping me with what I need; in fact, He is still equipping me!! Even while I didn’t know it, everything I did back then was some kind of preparation!

I write all this to tell you that life is time and time is life; you are either investing it or wasting it. It is important for us to understand the times and seasons of our lives and make the most of each season. Don’t plan your life like a man; I always say that a man’s life is not affected when he gets married or even when he becomes a dad. He still goes and comes as he pleases but generally that is not the same for a lady. You become a wife, you have to adjust to catering to someone else; you become mother and you have to go through all the phases from pregnancy to maternity, etc. During those times, you have to take a step back from career, etc to focus on mothering. However, while you are being a mother, carry on adding value to yourself; your children would net depend on you for life.

Don’t give room to distractions and stay focused on whatever task God has placed upon you. See whatever you are doing now as training ground for your own center stage! Don’t despise where you are today; you have no idea who God is preparing to cross your path tomorrow. You don’t know who He has directed to meet you right where you are and cause your life and destiny to be enhanced. It may not be a husband, like He did for me. But it would be someone He knows would change your destiny for good.

As you do what is required of you, God will grant you His favour which includes speed. Keep telling yourself that you have X amount of time to make impact on the earth and move with a sense of urgency. Give it your all, give it your best and be faithful at it. The truth is that if you want God to favour you in any area of your life, He must find you faithfully committed to it.

You will make a mark during your lifetime in Jesus name.

 

An Impactful Book…

grace is enough

One of the most impactful books I have ever read is by Kenneth Hagin’s wife, Oretha Hagin. The book is so real and it has been such a blessing to my own life. She really goes in depth about how she felt about being a pastors wife, having to do a lot on her own, having to help her husband in his ministry while finding her own assignment in life. Most of all, she writes about how God’s grace helped her crucify her flesh and adjust herself to everything that came with being in ministry. It’s a book that I carry everywhere with me and I have read cover to cover so many times. It has encouraged and helped me so much, not just as a Pastors wife but in all aspects of my life. I encourage you to get it, if you can. But I specially encourage Pastors Wives to read this book; it will minister to you in more ways than one! She barely spoke much during her lifetime but this book will give you a deep insight into the challenges (which we can relate to) she faced and how she overcame. She comes from a personal place that is so encouraging. The title of the book is The Price Is Not Greater Than God’s Grace! I have learnt that really, any price we have to pay to get to where God is taking us may seem so high in the natural but it’s so refreshing to know that His grace is more than enough for the journey. Get the book and be blessed by it. I just wanted to encourage you with that little word. Get the book and be blessed by it. The cover is below….

ORETHAHAGIN

I FORGIVE MYSELF….

FORGIVENESS

I did something wrong by mistake some time ago and I didn’t even realise it. The following day, while my husband and I were on our way to work, he noticed my error and told me. I was in shock and was so upset with myself that it changed my once happy and excited mood. He tried to liven up the environment and I would just giggle and go back to being upset with myself. I kept asking myself how I could do such a thing, even though it was not intentional. My husband looked at me and said “you must learn to self-forgive”. Wow! That set me free instantly. Such a simple sentence, yet it was so profound and made a major impact on me. I admit that sometimes for me, self-forgiveness is not something I am the best at, especially when it affects others negatively. I am getting much better but I used to dwell on my mistakes so much, even after I had corrected the wrong. When I got to my office that day, I began to ponder on that statement and the Holy Spirit dropped in me that not forgiving myself is the same thing as not forgiving another person; He said that although I like to go on about forgiving others, I must not exempt myself from it. Basically, that means that if I hold a grudge against myself (I know that sounds odd), it means I would belittle myself, be bitter against myself for my mistakes and even lose confidence in myself. Many of us are just like that. We talk and think about what we should have or have not done; what we could have or have not done; wasting time and wasting years crying over our mistakes – intentional and unintentional. And the truth is that God is patiently waiting for us to pick ourselves up and carry on, so He can still use us for His glory. Dwelling on could have’s and should have’s has never done anybody any good, so if you are in such a situation, pick yourself up and keep moving. One thing that helps me is that I constantly remind myself that time is not waiting for me; crying over spilled milk will keep be low and on the same spot. I can either see it as a lesson learned from my mistakes and keep striving for better, or beat myself up over it. So, in order not to let my mistakes get the best of me, I have the habit of saying “I Forgive Myself”, and that makes all the difference. Try it sometimes – in big issues and little issues, you will be set free by it and gather up the courage to try again or keep forging ahead. Someone said it best this way – “unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize the situation is over, you cannot move forward”!