Category Archives: Marital Bliss

Look for the ‘good’!

Always look for the good in your spouse. No matter how ‘bad’ you think he or she may be, there is still some good in them. You also have some flaws that they have to accommodate. Marriage requires being able to bend as required. Don’t take out your frustrations or irritations on them. Do your best to handle their shortcomings and be determined to bring out the good, better and best in them. That’s how the best of marriages keep going strong.

What are those areas about your spouse that turn you off? Be prayerful concerning those areas of concern that you feel you may not be able to handle and God will give you wisdom on how to manage any otherwise unmanageable issues. Whatever you do, learn to be accommodating. No human being is perfect and a marriage according to God’s design requires us being able to look past each other’s imperfections even as we work towards continuous improvement in ourselves and in each other.

When we do this, the best in us, in our spouses and in our family life comes out which ultimately leads to a healthy and mutually satisfying marriage!

…Nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them!

“Look!” he (The Lord) said. “The people are united… nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them! – Genesis 11:6. That scripture was concerning the people who wanted to build the Tower of Babel to reach the heavens. It’s interesting that God acknowledged the power that lies in their unity. Because they were of one mind and spoke the same language, He said nothing will be restrained from them that they imagined to do. Imagine if this kind of partnership were in a marriage relationship. 

Where the husband and wife speak the same language concerning the issues that have an impact on their home; the great things they will achieve together will be unimaginable! It’s so important that you remain united so your relationship and family can enjoy the best of God. The bible tells us that when we’re united, the blessings of the Lord must be constant (Psalm 113:1-3). And the blessings of the Lord don’t come with sorrows. However if we remain divided and if we allow strife, it means that disorder and every kind of evil is allowed to come in (James 3:16). Work out differences and strive to maintain unity. Pray everyday for oneness between you and your spouse, especially on critical matters that can make or break your home.

Don’t be hardened while your home is in trouble. As the blessings of the Lord are waiting to for you, the evil works of the devil are also waiting for you. The division or unity in your home determines which one you get. Dont be a trouble maker; promote peace! Don’t wait for your spouse to take the lead in promoting peace, either. As long as YOU know better, do better. And as you do, God will honour you. Sit down, talk things through, and compromise as required.

Don’t shy away from getting the right counsel, if you need it. Just be prayerful and sensitive concerning who you speak to and don’t allow the wrong seeds of counsel to be planted in your heart! Whatever you do, do what it takes to be a house united! May every goal, every vision, every dream you set out to do individually and as a couple be cheaply accomplished in Jesus’ name. Amen! – Kemi Oyedepo @theoyedepojnrs #unity #marriage #light#wisdom #crisisproofyourfamily #ontheroadtoido

Create what you want…

You create the type of relationship and ultimately marriage, you want. If you want your home to be filled with fun, and laughter, you create it. If you want it to be filled with peace and unity, you create it. If you want a home where kindess and forgiveness are 100% normal, It’s up to us! Everything we need to create the home we desire from scratch has been given to us by God Himself.

He’s not going to do it for us. He’ll give us all the help we need but it’s ultimately up to us to make our homes what we want it to be. Too many of us just hope for it, wish for it, dream about it. But that’s not enough. It takes us doing something to get something! It takes us changing negative habits, considering each other’s feelings and opinions, deliberately honouring and respecting each other, learning from each other, among other things, if we want our hopes and dreams to become a reality.

It’s not about looking for perfection but allowing room for growth! How hard are you willing to work for the kind of relationship you desire? That’ll determine exactly what you get! – Kemi Oyedepo@theoyedepojnrs #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily #ontheroadtoido

Be a cheerful giver…

Don’t grumble or make a fuss about what you do for your spouse. That’s marriage. We’re meant to help each other. Assist each other. Encourage each other and serve each other. Marriage is for givers! But it doesn’t mean much if we don’t do it with a good attitude. Do it with pleasure. As long as you’re in a marriage, that’s what’s required of each person. Too many husbands and wives complain about everything they do in their home. Investing into your spouse or family, financially, emotionally and otherwise is your responsibility.

And it’s not just expected of one person in the marriage; both people have a part to play if the marriage will work. Play your own part well! Of course, your spouse should be appreciative of what you do; no relationship can flourish without appreciation or acknowledgment. And no one likes feeling taken for granted. However, don’t make it seem like a burden or an unwanted chore when you indeed do something.

Don’t make it seem like a favour where you feel you are “owed” for whatever task you did. You can never get the best out of your marriage that way. And if you’re not careful, it can cause you to become bitter and resentful towards your spouse. If and when that happens, things can spiral out of control. Enjoy the process of being a helper in every sense of the word, in your marriage and be cheerful about it. God loves a cheerful giver; so does your spouse! Please note that if you feel like you’ve done all you know to do and your’e not yet seeing the results you desire, prayerfully seek godly counsel so you can get back on track. – Kemi Oyedepo #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily #giveyourbest

The weight of your words…

No matter what, always speak words that heal and strengthen your loved ones. It’s far too easy to be critical and condescending but as a Christian, never allow that to be your way of life . Your words carry destructive and constructive power. If as a husband (or wife), you speak to and about your spouse carelessly, you can’t blame your children for speaking to each other in such a manner. Perhapsyou came from a home where that was the norm, you must be determined to turn things around.

Be determined to break the cycle! Don’t keep blaming it on your upbringing or experiences in life. Instead work on making a change by being responsible with your choice of words. Refrain from using ungodly or corrupt words. A lot of people don’t realise that words spoken also have the power to set the tone in a relationship or home.

Even in your jokes, ensure your words carry life. No one enjoys being degraded or belittled, especially by the person who should be in their corner. It has damaging consequences. Be wise! – Kemi Oyedepo#marriage #light #wisdom #crisisproofyourfamily#yourwordscarrypower

Your responsibility as a husband…

A wife who feels loved, valued and respected by her husband will ALWAYS give her best to her marriage and her family and even to those around her. As a husband, do your best to make your wife feel secure and irreplaceable. Nothing is worse than when the head of the home, the one who is to protect and defend, becomes the one who devalues and belittles. Your responsibility is to bring out the best, not the worst in her.

It’s true that some wives don’t know better and may even perhaps provoke their husbands. However, that’s where prayer and patience are required. Be prayerful when things are not as they ought to be. Take responsibility for the state of your home. Being the leader of any institution including the family is not mere talk. It means you are actually responsible for what happens under your watch!

Any leader knows that the making or breaking of their organisation rests on them. Therefore shall a man deliberately leave his father and mother and glue himself to his wife. That is taking responsibility! That’s why marriage is not for boys, your age notwithstanding. Lead with a sense of responsibility for her, not a sense of lordship over her! As you wait for positive changes in her, wear patience like a cloth. Don’t throw in the towel. When you feel a sense of responsibility for something, you see it as your duty, as an obligation! You do everything within you to ensure it turns out well. You patiently wait. Have that same mind towards your home. Get godly counsel if necessary.

As long as it depends on you, put the grace of God to work and give your best. No matter how terrible things are, God has everything it takes to make it anew. Study the leadership style of Jesus and consciously imitate it. If your are really walking in His footsteps, it must work! How you manage yourself will motivate her to be at her best. When that’s the case, her light will so shine, you will benefit from it, your children will benefit from it & people will take notice! If you’re still a single gentleman, make sure you’re taking notes! – Kemi Oyedepo #marriage #light #wisdom#crisisproofyourfamily

Deliberately enjoy your marriage…

Enjoy your life to the MAX with your spouse. Don’t use your marriage journey hating each other, picking fights with each other, making each other miserable, etc. Enjoy your life! There’s nothing like growing with another person even through some uncomfortable and undesirable situations; that’s life! Someone rightly said, you don’t have a spare life so make the most of the one you have even in your marriage.

Give your children the best family life experience possible. It’s nobody’s dream to get married and be miserable; that’s not God’s agenda at all either. It’s far from what He has in mind. If things are good when you’re single, things should be better when you’re married! If things are good in the first few months of marriage, the relationship should be better with time. Prov. 4:18 should really be our experience.

But it’s not automatic; we have to be willing to give it what it takes! If things have not been great, it’s never too late to get things back on track. As long as you give your marriage your best, you’ll always get the best out of it! 

Love prospers…

“Love (ALWAYS) prospers when a fault is forgiven. Dwelling on it (ALWAYS) separates the closest of friends” -Proverbs 17:9! Prosper means to grow, to flourish, to be healthy. Faults, flaws, mistakes happen to every relationship/marriage; how we manage them determines the state of our relationships. Love will always grow when we freely forgive. Love will always grow when we accept responsibility if we’re the offender.

Dwelling on them can never make things better. Rather, it divides; it puts a dent in what should be our closest and most important human relationship. Be a forgiver; and don’t be the constant point of offence; be mindful of your words and actions; learn to control your emotions. There are times we offend unintentionally and there are faults we may be working on but whatever you do, let love prosper so your relationship can be healthy.  📷: @isaacoyedepo & @ayomitideoyedepo 

It begins at home!

Everyday, I make my children recite this – “Any love I want to show others begins at home”. That’s been our stance since day 1. In addition to the many other declarations I have taught them, this particular one ranks high up there for me. I remind them that if they want to share toys, show kindess or anything else with friends of strangers, they must do so with each other first. They must show it to us (their parents) first. That’s exactly how it should be for all of us, especially we who claim to have the nature of Christ in us.

The love we want to show must flow from the inside out. From our home to others. Doing otherwise makes us fake! We all must examine ourselves often and make necessary adjustments. If we are not loving, more tolerant, more accepting of outsiders than our husbands, wives, or children, any gospel we may be preaching (not necessarily as a pastor but as a Christian) carries no weight.

Encourage and Build each other up!

“So encourage each other and build each other up…” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

There is absolutely NOTHING like the encouragement, the cheering on, the building up that comes from a spouse. Especially when their words are filled with grace and seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6). It literally makes you feel like you can accomplish anything no matter the barriers in the way. More importantly, it always makes you want to become a better version of yourself (spirit, soul, and body). I strongly believe that more and more husbands, wives, even parents need to do more of building up and eliminate the tearing down.

The world is full of more than enough discouragement and evil counsel. I say it a lot and I mean it – your spouse is your advantage from God. Not only that, you are also meant to be their own advantage from God. When both individuals take responsibility for what is expected of them in a marriage, no husband, no wife, no child will feel the need to look outside the home for what God expects us get in abundance within the home. Don’t allow your frustrations or irritations to get the best of you. Just as you need to minister grace for your loved ones shortcomings, they need to do the same for you. The more you keep building up, what’ll happen? They’ll be built up! They’ll be infused with confidence and feel secure that they have a safe haven as far as humans go, that they can run to at any point in time. And when they begin to feel that way, their attitude towards your relationship and family will change for the better and the best!

Practice this exercise for the next 30 days – Building up ONLY. Encouraging ONLY. Cheering on ONLY! Be conscious about it and watch the difference it provokes in your relationship and in your home! If you really take it seriously and do it, it’ll show! A word for single ladies and gentlemen – If you’re in a relationship with someone who dampens your spirit and makes you feel worse for your shortcomings or mistakes, please run for your life! This is not the time for sentiments.

And to anyone who is married, if you feel you need godly counsel to get your marriage back on tack, please prayerfully seek for it and you will find the right person by the leading of the Holy Spirit. As long as you’re ready to do what God requires of you, He will crown your efforts. Contrary to popular belief, misery does not come with marriage, especially a Christ centred one.

I’m praying for you from the depth of my heart that the building up, the encouragement, the cheering on that may be missing in your home, will begin to find expression in Jesus’ name. Amen!