Category Archives: Marital Bliss

BEWARE OF COMPARISON…

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One of the worst things that any husband or wife can do is to compare their spouse to another man or woman. The truth is that the moment you start comparing your spouse to another person, that is the moment trouble begins. Comparison has the power to consume you if you let it; it shows in your attitude and behaviour (mostly negative) towards your spouse; it keeps you in discontentment. While there is nothing wrong with desiring that your spouse exhibits positive traits you may see in someone else, there is everything wrong with nagging him or her, and dwelling on their weaknesses. Your spouse is yours and it is important to focus on their strengths and HELP them in their weak areas. Making them feel inadequate will only lower their self-esteem and frustrate them; and it would eventually affect your relationship. Instead, magnify their strengths, affirm them, encourage them, use The Word of God to frame them and then practically do something to help them become better. Use the instrument of wisdom to achieve this, and give them time to get there. The making of your husband/wife is in your own hands therefore see it as your responsibility to make them what you want them to be. By comparing them to another person, you have simply said he/she is not good enough and you can do better. In actual fact, whoever you may be comparing them to has their own weaknesses also. You just don’t have the privilege of seeing them up, close and personal. IT MAY EVEN BE WORSE THAN YOU THINK! Beware of comparison; it is the game of fools; don’t give the enemy the power to trap you in discontentment. No wonder the bible tells us that anyone who compares, exhibits foolishness (II Corinthians 10:12). Learn to accept and celebrate the uniqueness of your spouse and discipline yourself to see their strengths and focus them. Remember that whatever you focus on is what will magnify. Ask God for the grace to be content with your own spouse and do what you can to help them become better. God will help you in Jesus name. Amen.

Count The Cost….Pay The Price!

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I have found that most times, couples who are experiencing conflicts, strife, confusion, etc within their marriages did either not get any counselling, did not get godly counsel, or did not do adequate research on what is required of them to have a blissful home.  The truth is that most, if not all of us go into marriage with the intention of building a formidable family life but when some get halfway and realise that marriage is much more than just holding hands, strolling in the park and saying sweet nothings into each other’s ears, they wake up,  raise their hands up and even make statements such as “I didn’t bargain for this”. They begin to look for all kinds of excuses to free themselves from the marriage. I heard somebody say that marriage is the only institution where you get a certificate first before you begin the course – in just about 15 minutes or even less, and the sweating begins, but that should not be so; to sweat in marriage is not God’s ideal! However the price you are willing to pay determines your experience. Before you can pay the price, you must know the cost. I like to tell couples to always have a blueprint (A detailed plan, a design, and a scheme) of their intended home from the very beginning. Periodically, before and while in marriage, sit down, review that plan and make necessary adjustments. Get a picture of your home according to the word of God. Jesus said “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it” (Luke 14:28). Irrespective of where we are in your journey of marriage, this applies to you and I. As a single, count the cost, and as a married man or woman, be determined to keep paying the price for a crisis free home. As long as we are alive, there is always somewhere called forward, even in marriage. It is my prayer that as you do what is required of you, God will ensure you have a sweat-less and not a sweat-filled marital journey in Jesus name. Amen!

YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION IS….

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There are husbands and there are HUSBANDS!

There are many husbands but very few HUSBANDS!

I think it is imperative that every man takes a look at the job description of a husband; not according to what we think but according to the Word of God. While there are many duties of the husband, the major expectation God has for every husband is to love his wife exactly how Christ did. If you are to love your wife as Christ loved the church, there are certain things Christ has done for the church that you must be found doing as a husband; that means you must be a reflection of Christ to her (Ephesians 5:25-33). If Christ made all kinds of excuses for not doing His task on the earth, it would not have been acceptable by God. In fact, you and I would not be where we are today as Christians. Remember, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8); while we still have flaws and shortcomings, He is still there for us.  Well, the same goes for you. Your wife’s imperfections will never be a good enough excuse to show her anything contrary to love. It is the love Christ shows to us, that makes us draw closer to Him. If you are a HUSBAND indeed, doing what God has said by showing your wife love, any distance between the two of you can be cheaply dissolved. Please, if you are single now, aspire to be a HUSBAND indeed. The same way others see the presence of Christ in your life, let them be able to feel your presence in her life. Being a HUSBAND indeed is being the best example of Christ on the earth your wife has ever known, and it begins with love. Every other obligation as a husband will only flow out of a heart of love you have for your wife!