Category Archives: Godly Parenting

Push them to God…

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Many parents are diligent at pushing their children to do well in their academics. They would go out of their way to ensure their children have all the books, hardware and software to excel academically. If their children show some promise in areas like sports or music, they’ll invest heavily in some state of the art kit to enhance their growth in that area. All these are great but even better, when combined with sound spiritual training.

It is sad to see that child who is carrying around a shabby bible – a torn and worn ‘book’ in a version the child cannot comprehend not to talk less of enjoying its contents. Isn’t the bible the most important book for living a successful and victorious Christian life?

You paw through the bookshelves of some homes and there are no books, DVDs or music of spiritual value that can communicate the power of Christ in simple and impacting ways to them. How can you motivate them to read and live the word of God without decent resources?

Concentrating only on mental and physical development deprives children of essential spiritual nourishment. It is like continuously feeding them a diet of carbohydrates only without the right measure of protein and vitamins.

Please know that a child without God is a future that is not secure. So, sit down and think of creative, engaging ways to help your child grow spiritually. Think about ways to incorporate spiritual activity into everyday activity – playtime, bath time, meal time, etc. I personally never permit a day to go by without having conversations with my children about God’s Word. I even use their play time to go over their memory verses with them. If your children happen to be older; teens perhaps, you can still come up with practical ideas that will catch their attention. It is so important to do this while you have their fullest attention! Ask your child for ideas too – you might be well surprised at their innovative ideas. Doing nothing or leaving their spiritual growth to the Sunday school or children’s church teacher, or teens church is highly irresponsible. Take full responsibility. No child becomes successful by accident nor by prayer alone.

May The Lord give you grace and make your children mighty in Jesus name (Psalm 112:1-2).

Named to Order…

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The primary purpose of naming a person or an object is to identify them. You can identify something by what/how it is or what it does (i.e. purpose). A description of what/how could be an adjective like beautiful, wonderful, glorious, bad, poor, lazy, etc. When you name something by its purpose, you are simply indicating the role it plays and its value. In fact, a name is simply a prophecy of what will be. If you take a cue from how God named Jesus in Isaiah 9:6, it was prophetically by who He is and His purpose. We are told “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace”. Jesus was everything our heavenly Father said He would be. When you order food in a restaurant, you name what you desire and you get it. For instance, you might ask for noodles that is plain boiled, stewed in sauce or fried, and you get it. The same goes, when you order any material item online or from a store. Jesus was ‘named to order’. His purpose was to be a counsellor and a wonderful counsellor. He was a prince and specifically the Prince of Peace. Every time you speak about yourself, your spouse, your children and your family, order what you want to see. Your tongue has the prophetic power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). It can create and it can destroy. Particularly when you speak to or about your children, say what you want to see. I am not an advocate for raising your voice at your children but if you must, call them what you want them to be and not undesirable words. If you really must tell people about your children, tell them about someone who has a bright future, and not of someone who should be condemned. No mater what stage of life they may be in right now, name them to order; and do it every single day. If you are are grandparent, do the same for your grand babies. And please, if you don’t have anything positive to say openly, then stay quiet till you do. Name your child to order. Even when others may say something negative about them; don’t just sit there, use your mouth to order what you want to see. Speak the positive; it will reverse the negative and establish exactly what you speak.

Today is a good day…

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How often do you spend time with your children? Ok, when was the last time you spent quality time with your children? I don’t mean you being in the same room with them, I mean doing something with them that they consider fun regardless of their age. Many parents hardly ever sit down and dialogue or engage in activities with their children. They are always on the run, going to work, or coming from work, doing other activities that matter to them. Parenting is a great responsibility that requires us to balance our time well. And one of the best ways to show your children love is to “hang out” with them. It also gives them a chance to know you better. If you have toddlers, let loose and roll on the floor with them; let them jump on you, watch some cartoons, just relax! If you have teens, find out what’s going on with them, how school is, how life is in general, ask them questions and give them room to speak. Play soccer, baseball, whatever they enjoy, with them. Get interested in what matters to them. Interact with each one according to their level. While still being the parent, you can still make room to be a friend with boundaries. Most parents don’t know their children and vice versa because they don’t bother to spend quality time with them and they are so focused on being a parent, declaring rules and regulations every minute. If you create a wall between your child and yourself, they would look for a listening ear (mostly negative) outside. Maximise the time you have with them by sowing scriptural based seeds into them and making fond memories because before you know it, they would be out of the house and you will feel their absence. Even if they are out of the house now, find a way to bond with them.  And stop pushing it off till tomorrow; who knows tomorrow? Once you finish reading this, call your child(ren) up to simply chat or plan a day of bonding together. Whatever you do,  today is a good day to be a friendly parent!

Child Artist Alert….

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Don’t you just love it when a little child shows you a cute picture they’ve drawn? My son and daughter do this a lot. They come up to their dad or myself to show off their masterpiece with such glowing pride and they never fail to tell you the story behind it. And if your kids are like mine, that story may take a while. They introduce each figure: mummy, daddy, aunty, ‘grandma’, ‘grandpa’, and maybe some other relatives and friends. The most interesting part of their story is what they have to say say and how close to the truth their observations and analysis are. One child I met showed me a picture of a house he had drawn with a dark cloud over it. I asked him why and he said “there is never any sunshine in my house”. That touched me so deep. Children have the gift of telling the the world what their parents think is hidden from everyone. One child might say with a mischievous snicker that daddy and mummy love kissing all the time. Another child might say with fear and pain in their eyes that daddy and mummy hit each other and say mean things to each other. Another child may even tell you that mummy and daddy never ever talk to each other. One day, my daughter gave me a picture she drew of mummy and daddy holding hands and hugging. She said “that is all you and daddy ever do”. That actually made me glad and I turned to my husband and said, “if you want to know the state of any marriage, the best people to ask are the children”. Mum and dad will try to cover up but the children, particularly if they are young, will always tell it like it is. And when they do, they leave their audience either laughing or cringing. Children are perceptive and impressionable. Therefore, we need to ensure that we employ God’s grace in setting the scene for them to learn what a godly, loving home looks and feels like. What they learn from their home life has a great impact on them and provides a model for their future. They are bound to act out or react to much of what they have seen to some extent. Your child is a actually an artist with many images of you, your spouse and the family in their head. Even as they get older and begin to chart their course in life, they still have memories etched in their minds of how the family life was. Ensure they have retained a good collection worthy of a public showing, and deemed an excellent legacy.

Don’t forget….

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One habit I have is that anytime I pray for my children, I also pray about their future marriage and family life. I know that season is a long long while away but I am always pressed in my spirit to pray concerning that area of their lives. I think part of it is because of the crisis in so many homes due to the wrong steps they take. Sometimes, I meet parents who say they will wait till they get to that bridge before they cross it but the truth is that it is never too early to pray concerning your child’s future spouse and family life. Why wait till the day they are about to get married before you begin? Why wait till after they are married before you begin? In fact, every parent should see it as their duty; I tell parents that even from the womb, begin to pray for their future, particularly their family life.
That is also part of praying that they are kept away from those who will destroy their destiny. As they grow and become more independent and begin to pay more attention to the opposite sex, pray harder that they will not become victims of the pressures that many succumb to. Pray that at the right time, God will order their steps to the right man/woman. Pray that even while they are in a relationship, they remain sensitive to the Holy Spirit and make the right decisions before marriage. And pray the the God of all peace, gives them a restful family life. Many parents wait till their children start misbehaving before they realise that the weapon of prayer is needful. Your prayer makes a huge difference! Why is this so important? Because who they join themselves to eventually, can make or mar their destiny. There are many who have been sent to the right schools and attained a lot academically or otherwise in life, they have taken the right steps and made the right decisions but they married without wisdom; and instead of enjoying their achievements and moving forward in life, they are found fighting unnecessary battles and dealing with troubles which could have been avoided, which hinders their peace of mind and progress. Dear parent, this area is so key; please don’t be careless about it. Yes, pray continuously for your children in every area but don’t forget to pray for their future spouse!! They can only flourish in all other areas of life when the peace of God abides in their family life!

Playback….

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A short reminder for all the parents who read this blog:

Your child’s mind is like a video camera. It is recording everything just as it sees and hears it. A playback of the ‘recording’ will show you the impact of what you say and how you say it, and the impact of what you do and how you do it.

Let your child see God in you and playback God through their behaviour!!

Speak Scriptures….

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If you have wayward children, rather than scream all day at them or to whoever will listen, PRAY; Locate Scriptures to speak continuously over them. Why weep as if hope is totally lost, particularly if you are a Christian parent? You have what you need. Prophesy into the life of that child. Speak the Word of God with faith and authority. For instance, say:

Hear, my child, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding in Jesus name – Proverbs 4:1

Hear me now therefore, O my child, and depart not from the words of my mouth in Jesus name – Proverbs 5:7

Come, my children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of The Lord – Psalm 34:11

Stand together with your spouse; don’t accuse each other of whose fault it is. What you need to be is united, looking up to God for help. Most couples are against each other over wayward children ignorant of the fact that the enemy uses it a a tactic to divide your home even further. Don’t fall for it!

Even if your children are not wayward, pray in order to secure a glorious destiny for them.

One of the major scriptures I use on my children is Hebrews 11:3. Use it too. Say

As the worlds were framed by the Word of God, I use that same Word to frame you my child.

You are a source of blessing to me.
You will be the joy of many generations.
You will not be a victim of peer pressure.
You will be first among your equals
Your destiny will not be frustrated.
You will not fall into the hands of wicked and unreasonable men/women
I come against any friendship that will take you down in life.
You will serve God all the days of your life!

Prophesy over them establishing their glorious future.

Another favourite scripture of mine: Isaiah 54:13 – All your children shall be taught of The Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

Their education shall be full of peace
Their careers shall be full of peace
Their marriage and family life shall be full of peace,
And the list goes on and on..

Do not confess negatively over your children. They may do wrong, but don’t speak wrong. The wrong words will never produce right results!

Ask God for wisdom to guide and discipline them in love according to the scriptures. Teach them bible truths.

The word of God is in your hand; use it. Put it in your mouth, ingest it into your spirit and release it in faith. Don’t sit back and watch your child’s life be destroyed. It doesn’t matter how old they are, it doesn’t matter if they are still under your tutelage or not. Keep standing in the gap for them; their life depends on it. What you say about your children, is exactly what you will see. The word of God CANNOT return void and unaccomplished!!!

 

To love, is to discipline…..

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My father in law has a saying – “The child you pamper today, will tamper with your peace tomorrow” . That is the whole truth and nothing but the truth! To pamper means to overindulge a person, giving in to their every request at every point in time. Many parents have a hard time not pampering their children, particularly when they are young. They find that it’s easier to give in to their requests rather than set boundaries for them. I am a parent, so I can relate to that, however I have learnt that if I want my children to be assets and not liabilities to my family and society at large, I must be willing to practice the art of discipline on them.  The bible says in Proverbs 29:17 – “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire”. To love our children is to discipline them. If you fail to discipline them, you have let them down in life.  To discipline means to train a person to obey rules or a code of behaviour. If your children must turn out well in life, discipline cannot be avoided; if it is avoided, you will have unruly children. The truth is that unruly children will become unruly adults and will put the family and ultimately, society at unrest. Disciplining them does not mean literally beating them to a pulp or physically (or otherwise) abusing them, so please don’t misunderstand me. Most parents fail to realise that their words carry more power than anything else. I have seen that my children respond the best to my words so that is all my husband and I ever use on them. Ultimately, when dealing with our children, we must ask for an abundance of wisdom and direction from God, and not allow our flesh to dictate our actions. It will make all the difference. Please remember that when you discipline your children, you will have abundance of peace. As you do what is necessary, your own peace concerning your children will not elude you in Jesus name. Amen!

Someone is Watching You….

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Children are so impressionable; what they see their parents do, is exactly what they do, at any age. How you, as a parent relate with your spouse is how your children will relate with others. You are their very first and most important human examples. They will be there when situations go right and they will also be there when situations don’t go as expected. They will be there when people disrespect and treat you wrong. They will be there when you and your spouse may have differences of opinion. They may not take much from such situations, but they will definitely remember how you react to such situations, how you settle any differences, how you handle whatever comes your way, how you respond with your words,  how you handle finances, and even how you dress. That is what they always remember; and that is what guides them in their own life.  It is important to note that whatever you don’t want them to emulate, you must never do. Don’t do the wrong things when you feel they are not watching, and then pretend to be good and civil in front of them, thinking you are smart; they are observing you more closely than you think. Keep reminding yourself that you are a living epistle read by your children (II Corinthians 3:2). There was a mother who usually dressed very provocatively and was counselled to dress modestly as a Christian woman but she felt everybody was ‘in her business‘, until her 16 year old daughter began to follow her lead. She sought counselling and kept stressing the fact that she and her husband have been speaking to this young girl but she refused to listen to them. However, her husband was the one who encouraged his wife to dress that way because he liked it. Well, these parents were told exactly what I am telling you – your children may not do what you say most times but they will always do what you do! Needless to say, before her daughter changed up her dressing style, her mother had to change hers first. Don’t let them pick up negative attributes from you; don’t let them have a flawed character based on what they have seen you do. Remember that what they learn from you –  directly or indirectly, will ultimately affect their own future! God will help us in this awesome assignment of parenthood, in Jesus name. Amen!