SINGLEHOOD is not equal to being REJECTED
SINGLEHOOD is not equal to being UNLOVED
SINGLEHOOD is not equal to being DEJECTED
SINGLEHOOD is not equal to being DISQUALIFIED
SINGLEHOOD is not equal to being EXCLUDED
SINGLEHOOD is not equal to being DESPISED
SINGLEHOOD should not be equal to being UNHAPPY
SINGLEHOOD should not be equal to being MISERABLE
SINGLEHOOD should not be equal to being JEALOUS
SINGLEHOOD is a precious season of life.
Use that precious season wisely, enjoy this season – you will NEVER get it back. Do not let anyone make you feel like a 2nd class citizen.
Work on loving yourself and accepting yourself in your single days. Prepare yourself adequately and open up your spiritual eyes wide to see the next season (marriage) by faith.
Desire marriage, want marriage but please know that being married does not make you any more valuable in the eyes of God.
Enjoy your Singlehood to the fullest – it’s a season you will NEVER get back again!
I have found that most times, couples who are experiencing conflicts, strife, confusion, etc within their marriages did either not get any counselling, did not get godly counsel, or did not do adequate research on what is required of them to have a blissful home. The truth is that most, if not all of us go into marriage with the intention of building a formidable family life but when some get halfway and realise that marriage is much more than just holding hands, strolling in the park and saying sweet nothings into each other’s ears, they wake up, raise their hands up and even make statements such as “I didn’t bargain for this”. They begin to look for all kinds of excuses to free themselves from the marriage. I heard somebody say that marriage is the only institution where you get a certificate first before you begin the course – in just about 15 minutes or even less, and the sweating begins, but that should not be so; to sweat in marriage is not God’s ideal! However the price you are willing to pay determines your experience. Before you can pay the price, you must know the cost. I like to tell couples to always have a blueprint (A detailed plan, a design, and a scheme) of their intended home from the very beginning. Periodically, before and while in marriage, sit down, review that plan and make necessary adjustments. Get a picture of your home according to the word of God. Jesus said “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it” (Luke 14:28). Irrespective of where we are in your journey of marriage, this applies to you and I. As a single, count the cost, and as a married man or woman, be determined to keep paying the price for a crisis free home. As long as we are alive, there is always somewhere called forward, even in marriage. It is my prayer that as you do what is required of you, God will ensure you have a sweat-less and not a sweat-filled marital journey in Jesus name. Amen!
“…..for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous/worthy woman…..” (Ruth 3:11).
Boaz said this to Ruth and I thought it was such a powerful testimony of her. Even before he chose to marry her, he was obviously doing his homework, carrying out his “checks” on her. What do people say about you as a single man or woman? What do people say about the person you want to marry? He may be good to you but how does he treat others? She may respect you but is she rude to everybody else? Does she keep malice with others? Does he get into physical fights with others? Don’t overlook any negative behaviour please; otherwise you may end up being on the receiving end when you do get married! Earlier in that chapter, he commended Ruth for not going after young men, rich or poor. He was not going to just marry her blindly, he was paying close attention to her and he went by the results he got. What do others observe about you? What are your results like? Boaz was still talking about her with the people around and finding out information for himself, while observing her. The truth is that many single men and women have not been approached or given a chance simply because of their behaviour to others. They may look attractive on the outside but their inside is the exact opposite; how they treat others and handle situations is not a good testimony. Whoever you want to marry should be finding out about you from others and you also MUST do the same concerning your potential spouse. And when the “checks” are carried out, what are the results? Don’t say “that is how I am” if you have a bad temper; instead work on controlling your temper! Do the work required to make a person eager and willing to approach you and eventually marry you. When you carry out your “checks” on a potential spouse, what are the results? Don’t ignore what others say about them. Do your homework on the person and be observant. Don’t use the “he/she will change approach”. And don’t be blinded by the physical or how they treat you. How they treat others is also vital. How handsome or how beautiful a woman is cannot make up for any character flaws (dishonest, cunning, lack of integrity). If such things are not dealt with, there will be no change. When the results come in, critically analyse them before proceeding and don’t go further until you come to a point you believe, and are convinced that you both can co-exist in genuine peace!
I always like to admonish singles to be more focused on the heart of their future spouse. I actually feel sorry for men and women who only care about the physical looks of an individual. It makes me wonder if there are any physical changes in the person they claim to love, if they would still hang around or become missing in action. As a single man or woman, please know that the heart is God’s priority, not the looks! Pay attention to the the heart of the man or woman you want to marry. Man focuses on the outward appearance but God focuses on the heart, the heart, the heart of the individual (1 Samuel 16:17). Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to that man or woman but their heart should overshadow their appearance. That should be your prayer; not the cliche tall, dark, handsome, rich, beautiful, slim & slender man or woman. Remember that the heart of man is deep…and God has the ability to search the heart of man (Jeremiah 17:10). A tall dark and handsome man or a modelesque woman can use their looks to blindfold your eyes until you are married. We, as men may be deceived but God cannot be deceived! Don’t go casually into marriage blinded by the looks of a person otherwise you may bear some heavy consequences. Be prayerful and seek God along the way. As far as God is concerned, while other areas are important – the heart of the matter is the CONDITION of the heart!
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